Valorie Quesenberry

bright and new

2012-01-02T14:31:00.001-05:00

For those of us who have had a "new birth" in Christ, the making of resolutions can be viewed with a bit of a jaundiced eye. Merely "turning over a new leaf" seems like human effort - just self-help amped up a bit. But, I believe God built into our world natural renewal points. True, they are less significant than one's conversion, but every bit as helpful in our journey toward Christian maturity.

Every person needs the invigoration of a new start. Whether it's a relationship, a health issue or just a personal goal, there is something refreshing and motivating about wiping the slate clean and starting again. That's one reason I'm not an advocate for year-round schooling. I think it does both student and parent good to end one year, take a break and start again.

As 2012 begins, there are 12 months of life to be lived, 365 days of journal pages to be filled, and 52 weeks of challenge, faith and adventure to be experienced. Like me, you may have unfinished business from 2011; it's time to let it go and embrace the bright and new hope of another year. If we can take the risk and keep our confidence in God, we might just find this to be an astounding year of growth and change (in a good way). At least, that's my attitude today.

Waiting for Christmas (post 12)

2011-12-25T19:33:00.001-05:00

Waiting for Christmas is the hardest thing when you're a little kid. When I was little, we used to open gifts on Christmas Eve at my grandparents' house across the road. Many times, my grandmother hadn't finished her Christmas wrapping before we arrived. So, there we would sit, in our special places around the living room, waiting for the bedroom door to open and her to emerge, bringing packages galore. It seemed to take forever.

Guess that's what the Jews thought in ancient times (and still think, for the most part). Waiting for the Messiah seemed like it would never end. And for those who don't claim Christ as the Annointed One, the wait goes on. But, for those who believe, waiting for Christmas is over. He has come. And no gift has ever made such a difference. Joy to the World . . .let each of us receive Him.

me and Mr. Clause (post 11)

2011-12-25T19:21:00.000-05:00

I met Santa this week. Welll, that's what I told my kids. It's sort-of a way of describing Christmas shopping. Got it from my parents. I'm not a Santa Clause hater, by the way, but building him up to my children wasn't something I did when they were younger. In fact, I recall a funny story when my oldest was just a pre-schooler. We were in a store around Christmas-time and a nice lady asked her what Santa was going to bring her or something like that. Ashley straightened her little shoulders and replied in a very matter-of-fact, yet respectful firstborn voice that there wasn't a Santa Clause. I remember trying to steer the conversation elsewhere very quickly lest this sweet Southern lady think I was a horrible mother for declaring such a blunt truth to my little girl. I guess it's all been downhill from there since my kids haven't really put much stock in him, though they are very eager for presents, no matter the giver. Oh well, maybe I didn't give the old gent very good publicity, but I saw him this week anyway (in a manner of speaking, of course).

too much food; no piano (post 10)

2011-12-25T19:10:00.000-05:00

I am overloaded on one hand and bereft on the other. There are more goodies in my kitchen than we can reasonably eat (not that we won't make a valiant effort!) But there is an empty space in my living room. Soon, there will be a piano there, but as of now, no keyboard is in sight. Food for the body, but not for the soul. Now, reknown chefs will disagree, of course. To them, what feeds the body can also nourish the spirit. But, for me, this Christmas, I'm missing a piano and no cookie or fudge morsel can substitute. It makes me realize that ivory, strings and wood can look just as delicious as a baking pan from the oven. And less fattening too!

Crackling candles (post 9)

2011-12-25T18:52:00.000-05:00

I bought a new candle for this Christmas season. It's the "woodwick" brand - supposed to sound like a crackling fire. And it does, somewhat. Of course, it doesn't have quite the same "roar," but it does a credible job for one small wick. And it has a wonderful fragrance - gingerbread spice.

It reminds me that I am to be, in my small way, a visual aid for the wonder of Christmas. Like my new "crackling candle," I can bear the soothing sound of Christ's love to a tense world and emanate the fragrance of His grace to those I meet.

What Heaven Knows (post 8)

2011-12-25T18:38:00.001-05:00

There was a time lapse between the Gabriel's announcment to Mary and His assurance to Joseph. Why?

For both of them to be informed at the same time would have saved some tense moments for them both and for her family, I'm sure. But, it didn't happen that way. For some divine purpose, there was a lapse. Heaven knew why. And Heaven knows why we face lack of knowledge in some facet of our understanding about life. God was faithful to inform Joseph at the right moment; we can trust He'll do the same for us.

Wasted bows (post 7)

2011-12-25T18:30:00.001-05:00

Tear off the paper, rip off the bow . . get to the present! That's Christmas - kid style! Or you can be like my grandmother, and your grandmother (and me, now!) and save the bows. Rarely do I recycle the wrapping paper, but the bows - maybe. Especially with the price of Hallmark these days, being "green" at Christmas could save you some money!

Yet, when you get right down to it, bows on Christmas packages aren't that terrible a thing to waste. They're just pretty wrapping, after all. If that's the only thing we waste this Christmas, what a good thing that would be! It is much worse to waste the other "wrappings" of the season, the not unusual-but-so-awesome gifts of good food, good friends, great gifts, great family, etc. Sure, it would be Christmas without them, but they sure make the whole "package" so much better. Think I'll make sure to enjoy them this year.

Inside the tree (post 6)

2011-12-25T18:28:00.000-05:00

Pretend you're a kid and lay down by the Christmas tree, scoot your head over until you're looking up into the branches. Isn't it amazing the perspective from the inside?

Christmas isn't always what it seems from the outside. There is amazing beauty when we get a different view on the glitz and glitter. When we look at Christmas from the inside out, when we start with God's love for the world and work our way out to the tinsel and lights, it makes all the difference.

Silent Night? (Post 5)

2011-12-25T18:17:00.001-05:00

Very few nights are truly silent. We love the words of the carol, and the night of Jesus' birth was very still and quiet in a sacred sense. But, in God's ears, there is no silent night as far as earth is concerned. Every evening, He hears the soft weeping of breaking hearts, the screams of those in pain, the wails of those who are grieving, the pleas of those in need . . . every earthly night is filled with the noise of a hurting world. And that's why He sent Jesus - to bring the redeeming, healing quiet of grace to all those who cry. Jesus came to bring us the beauty of a "silent night."

He loved us from the manger (Day 4)

2011-12-20T11:06:00.001-05:00

What was it like for Mary to see the infant eyes of Emmanuel open on the world He came to save? The One who watched as the universe came into being now stared into the darkness of a winter night. And in that sacred moment, Jehovah God loved us through a baby's gaze. All the love of redemption's plan was in the eyes of a newborn, unfulfilled, yet present.

Thirty-three years later, Jesus looked down from a cross and loved us. Mary was there for both events. She had witnessed Jesus' journey from newborn King to divine sacrifice. And on that day at Golgotha,as she looked into eyes filled with unutterable love, yet clouded with suffering, she must have remembered that night so long ago when she first saw in an infant's countenance the hope of all mankind. Yes, He loved us from the Cross, but He loved us first from the manger.

Christmas without the trappings (Day 3)

2011-12-17T11:16:00.002-05:00

Can I celebrate Christmas without the traditional accompaniments? Can you?

Personally, I'd rather not. There is something comforting about the cookies, the shopping excursions, the festive meals, the decorations. Indeed, to avoid being a Scrooge, we delight in our indulgance in holiday cheer. I love being right in the midst of the merriment.

But is it possible to enter into the spirit of Christmas without the trappings? As economic uncertainty wreaks havoc on the status quo, we may have the opportunity to find out. Maybe we will have the chance to discover what it feels like: to push a grocery cart through the crowded market and be unable to buy baking ingredients; to say no to invitations to holiday extravaganzas; to be without means to send Christmas cards; to enjoy a Christmas tree loaded with ornaments, but empty of gifts.

Tradition is a wonderful thing. It is even encouraged in Scripture. The feast days established for Israel were to be remembered and celebrated annually. These were days in which to prepare the traditional meals and enjoy the traditional ceremonies.

And tradition is a wonderful thing for us; it is right that Christ's coming be celebrated with joy and happy times, with nourishment for the body and soul. Yet, the joy is not in the trappings, the stuff, but in the event itself. When we are forced to do without some holiday garnish we have come to expect, we may then be left to adjust our idea of celebration.

I have read of prsioners of war who were able to keep Christmas in their hearts without any trappings whatsoever. In fact, not only did they not have the garnish, they were underfed, cold and miserable. That isn't the way I want to spend Christmas, but their strength assures us it is possible nonetheless.

We all know that the real meaning of Christmas is God taking on flesh. Maybe at such time we are obligated to endure hardship at Christmas, we can more fully appreciate what it meant to Him to come to earth.

May this Christmas find you enjoying the delightful trappings of the season. But, if not, may you have the courage to celebrate anyway, to reach out for Christmas joy in the event of Emmanuel's coming, whatever stuff may accompany it.

routine gone awry (Day 2)

2011-12-17T10:48:00.003-05:00

It seems the way to ensure you will experience complications is to declare you will do a certain thing in a certain way. It has indeed been that way for me this week. Setting myself a goal to do a daily Christmas post for 12 days unleashed myriad setbacks to the fulfillment of said goal. I will not bore you with the details, but I assure you it has been frustrating.

So, with determination to redeem those days that were lost, here is post 2 on the topic of . . . . routine gone awry. Yes, that was what happened to Mary of Nazareth. To her espoused, Joseph. And to her parents, robbed of the joy of delight in a daughter's marriage (replaced with the shadow of shame and suspicion).

Christmas often finds us unprepared in some way - sometimes emotionally because we've been trudging through dark days; sometimes financially because we've been experiencing economic hardship; sometimes physcially because we've been battling an illness which leaves us fragile energy; sometimes spiritually because we've been enduring trials in our faith.

And Christmas often disrupts our normal routine; we are left to make room for events unplanned and guests unexpected, for divine detours in the path we prefer to walk during the holidays.

The noble thing to do is graciously accept and go forth, triumphant, to be blessed and bless others. But am I the only one who struggles with the attempt to be noble? Luke 1 records Mary's incredible acceptance; I am awed by it. Convicted as well. Did she ever falter in her faith? Did she have moments of struggle? Probably; but underneath was the determination to accept and adapt; to make room for this inconvenient, yet indescribable blessing she was being given.

Is your routine gone awry? Be prepared; blessings may follow. That's the pattern of Christmas - unexpected miracles along the way as we welcome Emmanuel - God with us.

12 Days of Christmas Musings (Day 1)

2011-12-12T14:31:00.000-05:00

Apparently, for some with a vendetta against God, Christmas or the church, or who are merely obsessed with mischief, nativity scenes are of special interest. They come not to gaze at the simple beauty of the holy birth, but to confiscate the infant Savior. A recent news program surprised me with the information that "stealing baby Jesus" is a common practice during the Christmas season.

So, I guess, many churches will have empty mangers this year. Their "baby Jesus" will be tossed into a smelly car trunk or stuffed into a clogged basement or garage. The worshippers will have to replace the figure or simply leave the place of honor empty.

Certainly there is no divinity in the earthly image of the infant Christ, yet it is disturbing that pranksters would choose this particular figure as the victim of their vandalism. Because in a world were the manger is empty, all of living is void as well.

I am thankful that the manger in Bethlehem was not empty; it was filled with the very Son of God, the essence of heaven's love, the incarnation of redemption. Pity those who think stealing baby Jesus is cute; in reality, the only statement they're making is their own lack of understanding. For eternity, for everyone of Adam's race, the manger is always occupied. And blessed are those whose hearts have received him as well.

2011-12-05T14:27:00.001-05:00

Not Mine

"Lo, children are an heritage from the Lord . . . . " (Psalm 127:3)

My children?

No, not mine;

Gifts unearned, undeserved they've been from birth.

My flesh and blood?

Yes, of earth;

and yet, like me, their souls belong to Him.

My possession?

No, but His;

Who lets me custodian and mentor be.

My legacy?

Yes, the lives

They lead will bear the mark on them I've pressed.

My heirs?

Yes, and no;

I can bequeath them only dust, but He the realms eternal.

12-5-11

trust and obey

2011-10-02T16:10:00.000-04:00

In the Kingdom of God the alternatives are not boundless, not so long as we live in this mortal coil. You can't have it all. You are not there to do yourself a favor. You many not have it your way. You opted out of all that when you made up your mind to follow a Master who himself had relinquished all rights, all equality with the Father, and his own will as well. - Elisabeth Elliot

Obedience is the basic operating mode of the Christian life. This is the thing we are called to do, with no conditions. And it is tightly woven with trust.

I've been thinking about Abraham. God tested Him not once, but at least three different times. And each time, the stakes got higher.

1. Leave Ur for an unknown destination.
2. Trust God for a child.
3. Sacrifice your son on Mt. Moriah.

The first test was hard - leaving family and friends whom they would most likely never see again. The next test was closer to the heart - believing that an aging man with an infertile wife would actually have an heir. The third test went straight for the jugular - offer back to God the child of promise.

James 2:23 tells us that Abraham was called "the Friend of God." He is a star of the "faith" chapter - Hebrews 11. God made a covenant with Him that would affect the future nation of Israel forever. Yet, he was called to trust and obey, more than once.

Is it awful of God to ask things like that of His children? No more so than for me to require my children to trust and obey me. I see things they don't; I know the purpose of my request; I am overseeing their progress; I have safety boundaries in place. (so does God.)

But it only works - for earthly and heavenly children - when we "relinquish our rights" to do things according to our understanding. The story of Abraham gives shining witness to the care of the Almighty.

The rewards?
1. First test - the land of Canaan
2. Second test - a son
3. Third test - multiplied descendants - the nation of Israel.

Tests challenge what we know. Abraham aced his because he knew God was worthy to be trusted.

dead things

2011-09-25T16:20:00.000-04:00

God works in a mysterious way. That's a line from the old song by William Cowper.

The divine operates so much differently than the human. If it were me, I would fix things before they worsened. But God does His work on a scale that we don't usually understand.

He specializes in bringing life to dead things - dry bones, Joseph's dreams, Sarah's womb, Abraham's hopes, Lazarus. What we believe is impossible is the beginning of His greatest work. Where there is no spark of life remaining, He creates vitality and abundance.

Look at the unrelenting faith of Abraham in the presence of death:

And not being weak in faith, he did not consider his own body, already dead (since he was about a hundred years old), and the deadness of Sarah's womb. He did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God and being fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform. (Romans 4:19-21)

Abraham's body was dead, so to speak, and Sarah's womb was dead (in regard to childbearing). But that was what God was waiting for.

Lazarus was dead, physically dead, for four days. But that's when Jesus chose to work.

What is dead in your life? A relationship? Dreams? Ministry? Hope?

Deadness is of no consequence to God. He is the Giver of life. Bring your grief and loss to Him. Surrender your plan of action. Trust His good will. Wait on Him. And watch for His mysterious, life-giving work in you.

"God . . . gives life to the dead and calls those things which do not exist as though they did."
(Romans 4:17b)

startling, genuine Christianity

2011-09-18T15:56:00.001-04:00

Recently, I was reading a bit of David Kinnaman's thought-provoking book unChristian. (Baker Books, reprint 2007.) It deals with the younger generation's prevailing perception both of the evangelical church and of the gospel message we present.The purpose of the book is to help Christians today realize that the things we say might mean something very different to the culture we are trying to reach- we need to know what they're hearing.The Gospel doesn't need help; the Gospel-bearers do. Just like trying to witness in a foreign language, we may not be connecting.

He reveals surprising answers from those surveyed. I was surprised by his statement that, according to the research, many of the people we are reaching out to are not unchurched, but rather de-churched. That is, they have been significantly impacted by the church at some point in their lives but have chosen not to maintain that connection. The book has many eye-opening passages. It would be a great resource for anyone who wants to reach others for Christ and especially for pastors who want their churches to offer more than a schedule of services. It is a strong reminder that Christianity has a brand - how we represent Christ to those around us is very important. We must be cautious that as we shun evil, decry wickedness and herald political righteousness that we are not really using religion as a smokescreen for behavior that is hypocritical, self-centered and safe. The point is not to "pretty up" the Gospel, but to model Christ authentically, with His motives and love.

This perception challege is really nothing new. Christianity has always suffered from bad publicity. Remember the days of Nero? Christian wasn't a positive title then. It probably meant then what it means to some now - bigot, uneducated, uncaring, strange.

But no perception can stand against the radical truth of Jesus' teaching. The principles we are to live by can shatter any argument. Love your enemies. Go the second mile. Return good for evil. This kind of public relations cannot be smothered by public opinion. It's shocking and attractive message is unchanging. It draws others to Christ in us, to the love and mercy found in Him. It is a message that is people-focused. And that describes Jesus' earthly ministry pretty well.

never forgetting

2011-09-11T15:29:00.000-04:00

Ten years ago today, I was a young mother who had just sent my first-grader off to school and was home with my three-year-old and one-year-old. The Quesenberry family was living in Birminghan, AL in the fall of 2001. My first awareness of the events of that tragic day came in the form of a phone call from one of our parishioners who asked me if I had heard the news. She then proceeded to tell me what was unfolding. From that moment on, I was glued to the images and reports of our national tragedy, today known simply as 9/11. I remember flying a flag on my car. I remember an impulsive desire to go to NYC as if my presence would make a statement to the world that ordinary citizens cared. I remember a strange sense of mourning for people I didn't know who died that morning - on ariplanes, in skyscrapers or at a military desk.

For my family, the national horror receded just four days later when on September 14, 2001, my youngest brother was critically injured in a motorcycle accident in rural Indiana. That first weekend following the 9/11 attacks found me watching the media coverage in the waiting area of the trauma unit of Methodist Hospital in Indianapolis. There were flags and ribbons on hospital bulletin boards; medical staff wore flags on their scrubs and the recovery and clean-up efforts were the biggest news of the week. But now I understood that, no matter the scale of a tragedy, for the families personally involved, the scope narrows down to the one you love. Being unable to talk to them, being helpless to aid them, being unsure if they would live - all part of the grief that obliterates the sun and clouds the future.

By God's miraculous intervention, my brother left the hospital a few weeks later and after spending time in rehab was able to return home. His medical team thought it would be months before he walked again, but he was walking before Thanksgiving of that year. His recovery is a gift, and we are thankful.

Yet, many who suffered anguish on that day in 2001 did not experience a return to life. For them, grief has become the new normal. Missing that loved one is now an unwelcome, but routine, part of living. Today must be a bitter reminder of all that was lost and all that will never be.

In all of this, God is the constant. The terrors of earth cannot sway His power or shake His faithfulness. He has been there in the cataclysmic moments of my life; He is there for all who call on Him. Our world is cursed by sin and those who commit evil acts because of it, but He is a refuge for all who need His strength.

On every anniversary of 9/11, I have tried to listen to at least part of the ceremonial "reading of the names." There are so many. They represent people of many ages, many vocations and many ethnicities, but all created in the image of God and loved by someone somewhere. God knew them all, and in the vast scope of horror on that day, He didn't miss anyone in the smoke or lose sight of anyone in a stairwell or on the floor of a cockpit. He didn't forget about firefighters who put others before self; He didn't lose track of officers working in a government building. He didn't overlook a plane pitching over quiet Pennsylvania. He is the God Who is good and loving though wicked men use their free will to violate the rights of others. He is the Christ Who weeps with the bereft. He is the Lord Who helps a nation pick up the fragments and build again. He is the Father Who is faithful to all who call upon Him. Today, I remember, and with my nation, I mourn. But not without hope.

the fragrance heaven loves

2011-09-08T12:00:00.003-04:00

"Let my prayer be counted as incense before thee." (Psalm 141:2, RSV)

"What is incense good for? It appears to serve no practical purpose at all, and its smoke and fragrance soon dissipate. Our prayers are like that because they seem to accomplish little and they soon vanish, but God likes the smell of them." (-Elisabeth Elliot, Be Still My Soul, Revell, 2003, p.111)

What a thought this is! No matter that we cannot see the productivity of our praying - God says it is pleasing to Him. It lends another level of importance to the words we offer to Him. Not only are we interceding on another's behalf or asking for personal guidance or declaring blessing on a friend, we are involved in something that brings delight to our Father.

In recent years, I have discovered that prayer is not at all limited to the benefits we can see. God uses every word I bring to Him to further His purpose in my life. And the prayers I offer in my deepest chasm brings me nearer Him than I could imagine. After all, He is the One to whom the fragrance rises; what appears to disappear on earth ascends to heaven's throne room where it is effectual and blessed.

Love is Brilliant

2011-08-04T01:05:00.001-04:00

There is something shining about love, more specifically, about romance. Even little children recognize it. You've seen them giggle delightedly when the bride and groom kiss, turning their little eyes away from the brightness of the moment. The sheer glory of it transcends our senses.

Human love is a wonderful mystery, old as the couple in the Garden; new as a schoolgirl's crush. It ought to be. After all, it symbolizes the heart of Christ for His church.

Why should a wink, a smile, a brushing of the hand bring such chills of delight? To be sure, there are physiological explanations, yet the simplest anwer of all is that God created it to be that way. The romance between a man and a woman has a powerful intensity that always thrill us, and sweetly shocks us with its bold majesty. It is His gift to be treasured and used wisely.

"It will happen for you, in His time." I told my daughters the other night. "He makes all things beautiful in His time. Someday, it will be your season."

I may have to turn my eyes from the shining glory of it.

the wedding day is coming

2011-05-23T14:08:00.000-04:00

Just two days ago, many people were devastated when the rapture didn't take place. Now these disillusionsed and disheartened followers must return to daily life, picking up routines and paying unwanted bills. It must be heartbreaking for those who truly believed they would now be in the glorious other-world.

My sympathy is extended to both leader and followers. While I certainly feel that the prediction was unwise and do not agree with other parts of the group's theology/eschatology, I believe they need our compassion and forbearance, not our ridicule.

It is no light thing they have embraced. Indeed, all of us who read His Word should have the hope deep within us that He is coming again.

What is important to understand, however, is that the return of Jesus is not a mere doomsday cliche; it is the fulfillment of His promise, a very important event in His relationship with us, the church. The sequence of future events should be viewed in the context of the sacred romance of Christ and His bride.

He betrothed us unto Himself and signified it with the cup of wine at the Last Supper with His disciples. Then He paid the bride price (necessary in every Jewish marriage) with His own blood on the cross. He told us in John 14 that He was going to prepare a place for us (all Hebrew grooms went back to their father's house to prepare a chamber for the bride). He promised that when His Father gave the word, He would return to take us to be forever with Him (only the groom's father could give the word for the groom to get his bride). He told us to be ready at any time for His return (Hebrew grooms often came at night, with a shofar blast and an announcement by his friends, to joyfully steal the bride away). He promised us His unimagineable love and a home with Him for eternity.

While those who do not love Him will be surpised by His sudden appearance one day, those who are part of the Bride will be delighted when He comes. What bride is not excited on her wedding day? Has she not been expecting and longing for that day to arrive? Has she not yearned to see her beloved's face? For us, it will not be a day of fear and dread, but an hour of unrivaled joy.

The recent prediction gave an opportunity for the scoffers to whoop with derision. But just as false labor only means the birth is looming closer, so the day of the Lord gets ever nearer. (Mark 13:8) And though no man knows that time, the Father does.

(Isn't it interesting that God uses two metaphors for Christ's return which symbolize the greatest joys in a woman's life - weddings and births.)

God keeps His word; He waits so that more may become part of the Bride. While they scorn, He invites them. (1 Peter 3:3-14) He doesn't want anyone to be excluded.

God has written a great romance story. Christ's return is the next big event in our holy relationship with Him. No matter who predicts or scoffs, that day WILL come. And blessed are those who are found on that day dressed in the robe of His righteousness with a heart fully devoted to the bridegroom!

Wedding Day (Listen here)

- words and music by Brent Lamb

Lately I've been thinking as I look all around me

I see by the signs that we're soon going to be leaving

The Bridegroom is coming to take us all away

May be tomorrow, but I pray that it's today

Chorus:

And we will fly away in the twinkling of an eye

Leaving all our heartaches and telling them all goodbye

Yes we will fly away when He hears His Father say,

"Jesus, go and get your bride, today's Your wedding day"

Now when we see the Bridegroom in the clouds in the sky

Will He be telling you hello or telling you goodbye?

Oh, be sure and be ready to meet Him face to face

We've got to fight the good fight, we've got to keep our faith

Scriptural Reference:
"Let us rejoice and be glad and give him the glory. For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready." Revelation 19:7

For more on the sacred romance of Christ and the Church, see the study Redeeming Romance.

"real" beauty

2011-04-20T11:22:00.003-04:00

Just like our appetite for monster fountain drinks and mammoth screens, the modern template of feminine beauty is out of proportion. One college student illustrated this clearly with a life size replica of Barbie which was displayed during the school's National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. The student, Galia Slayen, is an anorexia survivor; I'm guessing this was a personal battle between Barbie and her. (see the Barbie here)

Now, I'm not a Barbie hater; in fact, I played with them as a little girl (gasp!) and never really believed that she represented perfection (guess my firstborn nature had its own opinions!). But I understand that it can be confusing to little girls and completely understand why some parents won't allow them in the playroom. Certainly our daughters don't need another reminder of their supposed "inadequacies."

But, the real problem is the society that laughs at the ridiculous proportions of Barbie on a life size scale, but continues to crave that kind of beauty in ourselves and our entertainment. We embrace our own pain by believing the Barbie lie.

Beauty is real, beauty has power, and beauty as created by God is good. But, beauty in our culture is suffering from inflated expectations - both of those who want to own it and those who want to look at it.

Beauty must be kept in proper perspective, and that means remembering that Barbie is only a doll, a concotion of plastic and synthetics; the invention of a corporation who created a "beauty" not possible in real women as God made them. Like baby dolls who never cry or teddy bears who go to tea parties, Barbie is an illusion. And that's a comforting thought actually; because in real life dimensions, Barbie is a bit terrifying.

romance and redemption

2011-03-20T16:24:00.000-04:00

Do you like stories of romance? If you're a woman, the answer is probably yes.

Guess what? God's answer would be yes too. He invented romance and uses it to picture His pursuit of humanity as He woos them back into relationship with Him.

He invented weddings too.

And nobody does weddings better than Orthodox Jews.

Compared to them, the traditional American nuptials are paltry in symbolism and certainly weak in enthusiasm. Now, my own wedding day memories are very special, as I hope yours are to you, but there's a tiny little part of me that wishes I had been Jewish! Talk about deep meaning and hidden beauty - that's what it's all about.

The Orthodox Jewish wedding juxtaposes the sacred solemnity of the ceremony with the joyful hilarity of the following reception. Those in attendance experience the whole range of emotion - it's a day that stands out in the memory of everyone there.

There is far too much involved to explain in great depth in this post, but here are a few details:

In contrast with modern weddings, the bride and groom are the centerpiece of everything. It's not just a time for friends and family to show up in their finery and laugh and visit. Every activity is focused on the bridal couple and their happiness.

Marriage, in the Jewish mind, is something to revere and celebrate, not primarily for sensual reasons, but because it is what man and woman were made for. An announcement of marriage is worthy of great joy. (In a deeper sense, of course, it is to be celebrated because it represents God's covenant with His people and Christ's relationship with His bride, the church.)

The ceremony is filled with great symbolism - both for the couple and for Scripture. The bride and groom are attended by both parents down the aisle; mother and father are very important as they give permission for their children to be joined together in marriage. The groom wears a long white coat (with his tux or suit) - it was the traditional garb for ancient feast days and is called the kittal (from the root word "to slay" - wow, there is deap meaning here from the first chapters of Genesis). The bride is veiled by the groom with a heavy cloth (the badekin) - to remember Leah who wore a veil when she married Jacob and to symbolize the husband's role of protection. The couple is married under a canopy (Chuppah) - to sybolize the covering of the heavens and God's covering of covenant with His people. The bride circles the groom seven times - to symbolize the days in which God created the world and the fact that this couple is creating a new home. At the end of the ceremony, the groom steps on and breaks a glass contained in a cloth bag - this symbolizes the destruction of Jersualem and the fragility of life (even in moments of great joy, Jews never forget the destruction of the temple).

The estactic dancing following the ceremony is almost childlike in its jubilant expression - on the men's side and the women's side, guests twirl and skip, laugh and sing. The groom and his friends often perform incredible feats - special dances, juggling, wild leaps, etc. It's not only an adrenalin rush, but also a chance for the groom to show off a little for his bride.

To the American mind, this form of celebration seems a bit awkward and even silly. Most of us would not think of behaving in such a way in public. But the Orthodox Jews are able to give in to their joy in the most basic of all modes of expression - laughing and jumping. Its what each of us does in some unguarded moment when a long-held dream comes true (recall images you've seen of lottery winners whose number has been called!) And it is a shadow of the kind of joy that will be ours in heaven someday. All of heaven will be an endless wedding celebration. It will be happiness and feasting and celebration forever.

The Orthodox Jewish wedding celebration combines the wonder of human romance with the awesome holiness of God. The Creator created this relationship to symbolize His deep love and commitment to us. Jesus, the very Son of God, attended a wedding in Galilee and was no doubt, part of the great joy on that occasion. The things He taught and the things He did often had great signifiance in relation to the Jewish understanding of betrothal and marriage. Even the Last Supper and His death on the cross have deep meaning for us as the Bride of Christ.

I have been captivated by the theme of romance, not only as a woman, but as a Christian. What I've discovered in my study has made me see my relationship with Christ in a whole new way. I am so excited about the new study book, Redeeming Romance: Delighting in God's Love. It is a message that I cannot get away from. It thrills my heart with its powerful beauty and makes me anticipate heaven more. After all, every bride looks forward to her wedding day.

(Look for the new study Redeeming Romance:Delighting in God's Love, available at Dayton IHC and for pre-order from http://www.wphonline.com/)

male or female or both?

2011-01-05T01:21:00.000-05:00

I've just read an incredible news story. Incredible because of the lies it contains.

If you have a jaundiced view of journalism, you may think most news stories contain lies. But this one was not a lie of the political or interpretive kind. It was a lie from Satan.

The article told the story of a woman in Australia who was granted identification papers saying her gender was not specified. In other words, she is legally not male or female. Those papers have since been revoked, but she is fighting to get them certified again. The story explains that "she" was born a normal boy, but didn't "feel" male so, as a young adult, he had surgery to make him female. Then one day, realizing that many of her feminine traits were coming from the hormone pills she was taking, she felt that was fake too. So, now "she-he" has embraced this new nothing kind of gender. She wonders why she has to be male or female: why can't she just be human? She even goes barefoot now because she feels shoes are too gender indicating. She says she is both male and female.

The article also quotes a gender specialist who says many ancient cultures had a third gender, and it was only in the 20th century that male and female norms were set. That may be true, but former cultures also practiced human sacrifice and other horrors. Precedence doesn't justify repeating all behaviors. He further states that it is common for a person who has had a sex change to begin questioning their gender again after the surgery. He gets close to the truth when he says that gender is not merely wrapped up in the physical apparatus; it is now believed to be rooted in the brain.

But the whole truth is that gender is God-given and is inprinted on the soul. God created humans in His own image - male and female. He chose two complimentary sexes to represent Him; each images Him in different ways. To ignore either denies His design. To swap one for another insults His plan for each life.

But having a "one is the same as the other" approach is becoming fashionable in our culture. Take Lady Gaga, a young woman whose music and video "art" is openly and proudly lewd. She says she loves "androgyny" and admits to encounters with both men and women. It has become the new rage - experimenting with one's gender as though it were a dessert one can have as either chocolate or vanilla or swirled.

Our Creator lovingly portayed Himself in the genders - each is valuable and significant. The gifts of each are necessary for the appropriate function of the earth and the family. Who one is really will not change, no matter what is done to the outside. In my opinion, it is the direct work of the Enemy to cause men and women to question their gender. It is an attack he has used with great success and it strikes at the very heart of God's creative work.

Once a person questions who he or she "is," everything else is also suspect. If I cannot believe something about myself as basic as my sexuality, what else might be subject to question? In the 20th century, contrary to the specialist's belief, gender was not solidified as much as it was questioned.  Beginning with the Roaring Twenties, assaults against traditional feminine and masculine roles saturated the culture. So it is not surprising that the current issue is whether gender really matters at all. It is the natural result of the gender debate.

Elisabeth Elliot, one of my favorite authors, writes about the "mystery" of God-given gender and their relation to each other. In her book, The Mark of a Man, (written for her nephew, Peter) she says about gender difference:

The distinction was God's. We wouldn't have thought of it. Imagine a sexless world. If you're looking for Dullsville, that would be it, wouldn't it? We've had enough hints of what it would be like in the unisex world of blue jeans. When men and women accept the sexual difference and enjoy it, they put color and design and variety into life. When they begin to deny it or to feel that it should somehow be blurred, they take all the color out (except for denim blue - and they are careful to take even some of that out, with Clorox, before the color is acceptable!)

It's hard to tell the men from the women at a college weekend retreat: the down-filled vests, the turtlenecks, the jeans, the waffle-stompers, the hair hanging in the eyes, the backpacks.

"Oh, wow!" some of them would say, "She doesn't like us!"

Alas. Another distinction gone by the board. You are smart enough to see, Pete, that I'm not condemning. I'm describing. And if the description fits, kids squirm. I'm only holding up a mirror, saying, "Look at yourselves! What do you see?" If it's monchromatic, it illustrates my point: To equalize is to deprive of glory.      (Fleming H. Revell, 1981, pg. 32)

While I'm not condemning denim or turtlenecks or backpacks, etc.(and I don't think she is either), I believe Mrs. Elliot is onto something here. The genders bring color and glory to the world. Making them the same or erasing their importance will plunge any society into a grey world where even the basic things of life are topsy-turvy.

I must note that, in our imperfect world, there are malfunctions of every kind. Babies are sometimes born with "ambiguous genitalia" - not clearly one or the other. Such cases require wisdom and careful thought by parents, doctors, and others involved in deciding how the little person should meet life. Not being qualified to speak on this subject, I will say only that I believe God can give the discernment needed to face this challenge as He does for any other difficulty faced by the human family.   And certainly, it is a subject that brings another angle to this discussion.

The issue of gender distinction is one of greatest importance and it will become even more so in our lifetime. The news stories will become more unbelievable; the mores of culture will become even more outlandish. But the principles our Creator planted in our world will not change, no matter how they are scoffed and trampled.

And as for me, I am glad to have the security that God made me, that I am what I am by His design, and His plan for me is wrapped up in how I bear His image. It sure beats going barefoot.

Appalachian Midnight

2010-12-29T14:12:00.000-05:00

Pale moon on a mountain road,

Spectral trees with branches bare,

Aging homes in whitened sleep,

Winter's chill on silvered hills,

Frozen land and people proud.

- VQ (Dec. 24, 2010)

the value of being

2010-12-13T16:31:00.000-05:00

In the shuffle of life, I cycle around to this thought: Is there value in simply "being?"

You'll hear busy executives, exhausted sales associates, and harried parents talk about wanting to "enjoy life" or take time to "enjoy the moment" or "smell the roses." It's all the same. Deep inside, each of us wants to absorb the simple bliss of nature and relationship.

Being a firstborn and driven to achieve and please, this is a difficult concept for me to embrace. Maybe it is for you too. I find significance in accomplishing something; that is where affirmation resides. It stretches me to imagine that there is actual value in simply being part of the kaleidoscope of the life God has given me. Is it possible that sitting in the woods or by the seashore can more enirch the spirit than reading the newest self-help book? Is it reasonable that sipping a cup of coffee by the twinkle of the Christmas tree has more benefit than checking off that last deadline?

Well, the responsible part of me says absolutely not. And granted, there are some duties that must be attended to on-time and with faithfulness. But, I think its entirely possible that the "doing" will be less fruitful if there is no "being." I suppose the soul needs nourishment in ways the body cannot supply through action. And yes, there are some who carry this to extreme - I'm not advocating weird stuff. But God's amazing world (that includes the beautiful things He's allowed man to create as well as nature) cannot be enjoyed on the run, so to speak.

But, I've seen abuses of the system. There are those who simply "be" forever and never "do." Their houses deteriorate, their vehicles rust through, their relationships stagnate, and their legacy disintegrates. Sloth is a voracious foe. And the consequences are really not palatable. Even those with great gifts are at risk here; art often requires much "being." Hence, the eccentricies of the great masters. Still, their contributions redeem them, at least in the perspective of our day.

So, what about the value of "being?"

As a homeschool mom, I am challenged with helping my children to understand this concept and assimilate it into their own world. It seems we are always pushed for time, always hurrying to the next educational activity, at home or elsewhere. Dilemma: this window of childhood is small; there is so much for them to learn. I have only 18 years to equip them for life (for my older ones, the sand in the hourglass is dwindling quickly). Lack of ambition or vision will cripple them for life; stress and extreme schedules will smother them.

Yet, when all is done, their ability to connect with others and to relish the incredible joy of simply being alive and being loved is huge. While I want my children to be refined, educated, cultured and gracious, I do not wish them to be arrogant or lofty or impractical. I certainly don't want them too overwhelmed doing and learning to be normal. While I know I'll remember the things they accomplished while they were growing up, probably the things I'll mentally unwrap again and again will be the ordinary things of life we shared and the simple extravagant beauty of hugs and night-time rituals and unexpected smiles.

So, the question remains "What about being?" And the answer will define both work and leisure. "All work and no play . ." as they say. Then again, whose workshop are those "idle hands?"

The writer of Proverbs offers superb perspective. "He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end. I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives, and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor-it is the gift of God. (Proverbs 3:11-13, NKJV)

That sounds like a good life.

for Thanksgiving

2010-11-23T22:07:00.000-05:00

And the People Were Thankful

by Valorie Quesenberry

On tumbling seas, a humble ship . . .

its destiny -- the New World.

its masters -- a swarthy crew.

its heart -- a band of "pilgrims."

The voyage was long, the storms harsh, the future unsure but the landng was made.

A great rock looming on a craggy shore, the promise of a free land, and a faith in Almighty God.

And the people were thankful.

By planted fields, a stalwart group . . .

of settlers -- survivors, purposeful.

of natives -- quick, resourceful.

of friends -- feasting, playful.

The feast was welcome, the games friendly, the spirit festive,and the hearts were joyful.

Two peoples created by the same God and coming together on this fertile land of blessing.

And the people were thankful.

At revolution's dawn, a tiny republic . . .

the leaders -- strong, visionary.

the minutemen -- determined, ready.

the people -- sacrificing, resolute.

The battles were bloody, the conditions daunting, the soldiers untrained, but independence was won.

The infant that democracy birthed rose up in the strength of Providence and set the course of freedom.

And the people were thankful.

With divided hearts, a torn country . . .

the President -- bold, resolved.

the soldiers -- proud, stubborn.

the families -- brave, grieving.

The fields were graveyards, the destruction tragic, the hatred a curse, but the great wound was closed.

The people battled out their difference, brothers again clasped hands and mended the landscape of a united country. And the people were thankful.

In Liberty's gaze, a solitary immigrant . . .

the past -- squalid, desolate.

the present -- fearful, hopeful.

the future -- bright, promising.

The journey has ended, Ellis Island awaits, a new home to be made, and opportunities abound.

It was worth the cost to stand on the soil of America, the land of refuge, the home of the oppressed.

And the people were thankful.

Under Old Glory, a nation stands . . .

for liberty -- costly, sacred.

for justice -- fair, equal.

for brotherhood -- kind, merciful.

Foes have assailed her, wickness has assaulted her, centuries have tested her, and America squared its shoulders and set its strength to the task. God blessed her and through good and bad she came smiling through. And the people were thankful.

Around laden tables, an American family . . .

the scene -- warm, loving.

the food -- savory, plentiful.

the family -- close, loving.

Harvest has come, the pantry is full, the relatives have gathered and the turkey is golden and tender. No hardship is so difficult that it will not be overcome by the ministry of this Thanksgiving Day. A blessing is breathed, hands are folded, heads are bowed, and hearts have come home. The feast begins. And the people are thankful.

of being and doing

2010-11-09T13:04:00.000-05:00

God uses my kids to teach me. And sometimes He uses my relationship with Him to teach me how to be a better mom.

I feel a compulsion to encourage and propel my kids to the top. I don't want them just to do something, I want them to do it well . . . like, better than anyone. You know? Not just good grades - all As. Not just play the piano -- challenge Beethoven. Not just make the team - score the most.

I suppose it's noble to encourage a child to do his or her best. There is certainly something character building about pulling out all the stops and pushing through to the top. But there is also something to be said for enjoying the richness of life apart from goals and success.

As a firstborn, I never can see myself relaxing all of my expectations of myself or my children. Nor do I want to. But God, the heavenly Parent, is reminding me of how He works. While He expects me to grow and bloom in my spiritual walk and personal gifts, He also enjoys just observing my delight in living life like He planned as I am in relationship with Him. He receives the greatest pleasure from knowing I'm His child. He is happy when I am simply using my gifts and "abiding" in Him. I don't have to prove anything, outdo anyone else or set a record. After all, competition - against others or self - is a human invention. Sure, it's great to beat one's personal best (and I like a good contest!). But for perfectionists like me, the "better than" trap is always open and waiting.

Maybe moms need to lose a little of the panic. Maybe this mom justs need to relish my children's involvement and encourage more enjoyment in their activities. Maybe it's okay if they don't make it to Beethoven's level of virtuosity. Maybe they can live fulfilled and successful lives without being first in everything. Maybe they would even be happier.

God expects us to live out fully the dimensions of His plan for each of us, but He does not push us to exceed it. I should follow that pattern in my goals for my children. Of course, it's a little harder for moms to know what are reasonable expectations because we can't see things from the perspective He has. Yet, I think we do know somewhere deep inside that a mom's greatest joy comes from her children just being - in relationship with her and in harmony with their abilities - than in doing. After all, lives of incessant action can be eerily similar to windmills - continually beating a force against which they can never win. I suppose the energy invested in life should be equal in measure to the joy that comes from relishing the simple pleasures readily accessible everyday, regardless of achievement or status. And the continal "doing" of Christian service should be balanced with the "being" that comes from lingering in His presence.

Only in the context of "being" does "doing" have significance. That's something I need to comtemplate a little more, both as a mom and as His child.

always on our minds

2010-10-21T21:40:00.004-04:00

It's truly amazing how many "news" stories are simply descriptions of the clothes popular women are wearing - either their fashion successes or malfunctions thereof. Far be it from me to decry a woman's enjoyment of a pretty dress or the innate desire to look beautiful, but I think today's headlines tell us there may be a problem. Everything is not all right in Camelot.

Many online news networks have a fashion channel that keeps American women updated on who looked good, who didn't and how we can avoid their diastrous results. I admit to checking into the stories sometimes. I mean, some of them are really kind of funny, and sometimes, I'm just plain curious.

I guess we need to realize that what women wear always makes the news. It's a barometer of the culture's definition of femininity. You can usually tell a lot about a society's moral code by the way the women dress. (think people in primitive cultures who start wearing clothes when they come to faith.)

Our society defines womanhood in terms of sex appeal. The clothing trends confirm it. The difference in men's and women's casual attire is often only the cut of the pattern - with the women's clothing contoured or exposed to reveal female curves.

I suppose humankind has always been fascinated with the way women are dressing or undressing. God created women to be worth looking at and men with eyes that recognize that fact. But womanhood is much more complex and beautiful than outward characteristics. It is a sacred gift from God, just as manhood. It is a code stamped upon the soul; the body is only the reflection of what's inside. It should be respected by both genders. And that's something we can affirm on a daily basis - by both those doing the dressing and those doing the looking.

the next step . . .

2010-07-31T17:33:00.000-04:00

On June 3, our family moved to a new ministry location. We were assured that this was God's will - the next step in our journey as a pastoral family and and as a ministry couple. We are now unpacked and feeling settled.

Throughout our lives together, my husband and I have desired to have authentic, Christ-centered ministry and to raise our children in an environment that will help them reach their full potential both in their areas of giftedness and in their own spiritual walk. It has been amazing to see how God has come alongside us in this task. At every church, He has taught us lessons vital to our relationship with Him and others. Each year has been another opportunity to love Him more and understand more about the people whom we serve. And in every place we have lived, there have been those who have contributed to us as a family and to the continued growth of our children. There are so many dear folks who are almost "family" to the Quesenberrys. You have loved us, had us over for dinner or snacks, prayed for us and taken us into your own families. You loved our children and encouraged them through your friendship and little gifts. For all of this, we are deeply grateful - God blessed us through you.

In this next step, we sense God's ongoing presence and leadership. It is exciting to imagine what He is going to do. In our ministry, we have the chance to experience a new and different type of challenge -- planting and watering a new church group and expecting His increase. In our family, we have the opportunity to see God supply unique needs in our present situation. In my own writing, I can watch God use a new season to challenge me and provide new perspective for the projects He brings to me.

The next step is always shown when it's needed. And I'm glad that the Scripture reassures us in this verse.
" The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD, And He delights in his way." (Psalm 37:23 NKJV) I'm positive that means the steps of a good "woman" too! (and probably a pastoral family :)

of independence and free will

2010-07-04T16:19:00.000-04:00

Today is my country's 234th birthday. I am proudly American. To me, there is no more beautiful trio of colors than the red, white, and blue. I like parades and fireworks and a contemplative walk through a military cemetery. I get chills when I hear a veteran recall his adventures. I feel goosebumps when the flag is raised.

Some people would call me arrogant because I have this deep loyalty to my nation. They dislike Aermican's prosperity and prominence. They call her citizens arrogant. They think we sit high atop our greatness and care not for others less fortunate. They are wrong.

The great thing about America is that she still stands for "liberty and justice for all." That is why we love our nation. She does not clench us in beaurocracy; she does not stifle our creativity; she does not limit our opportunities; she does not regulate our families; she does not prohit our worship. America was founded
on the belief that each individual has been bestowed by God with a choice and should have the freedom under Him to use that choice. She offers that blessing to any and all who would come to her shores and become one of her children. And for the many who do not live on her coast, she still offers aid when they are battered -- food and water and military assistance to the needy and oppressed.

Yet, those who claim her as their own know that personal liberty is what makes her great. And it is because of the origin of that liberty. Free will is the gift of God that He will not withdraw. In that way, we bear His image. No other creature in the cosmos can choose--animals are directed by instinct; planets are guided by celestial forces; angels were made to serve. But the human family has the freedom to choose and the understanding to make that possible.

Being American does not give me special standing with God; He ranks no person higher than another. But being American does give me the opportunity and the liberty to publicly and proudly serve Him and invite others to do the same. Being American lets me study truth and share it without fear; it gives me the chance to raise my children as I see best and pray anytime and anywhere.

In actuality, I know that I am a citizen of heaven and only have temporary status on earth. But when I count my blessings, I will thank my Father for the privilege of residing (even for a while) in "the land of the free and the home of the brave." God bless America -- "from sea to shining sea."

lovin' truth

2010-06-01T00:16:00.000-04:00

As a woman and a writer, I am in love with truth.

It's the foundation of everything good. And always has been.

Satan figured out rather quickly that the human woman was susceptible to words, and the human man was susceptible to images. Cunningly, he used the verbal sensitivity God gave the woman against her. "Has God indeed said, 'You shall not eat of every tree of the garden?'" (Gen. 3:1) And, then, he used her beautiful image against her husband. "She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate." (Gen. 3:6) It worked. And every woman since has had to fight his verbal lies. And every man since has had to fight his visual lies.

Women today are assaulted with messages about beauty, worth, and relationships which are engineered by Satan for their destruction. The words are smooth and seductive, but they are only there to disguise the hiss of the serpent. In his heart, he plots and dreams of shattered emotions and charred relationships.

God is pure, glorious, welcoming truth. He offers freedom and abundant life to those who embrace His truth. His voice is safe, loving, and faithful. His plan is always for the good, always full of promise, always warm with hope.

Women today can choose to whom they will listen. And it is a decision we will make every day of our lives. When we center our lives, both the mundane and the momentous, on God's Word, this faith journey begins to make sense. The confusing and painful times will not cause us to fall away because we know that there are solid, immutable things which never change. We will be women with a purpose. We will be able to discern the slant of the culture. We will reflect the beauty of the One who created us and delights to call us His daughters. We will be free.

"And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." (John 8:32)

defining womanhood

2010-04-17T17:59:00.002-04:00

God's image in earthly skin. That's what humankind is. Male and female. And the Creator said it was good. No, God doesn't have a body. He is a Spirit, as Jesus explained to the Samaritan woman in John 4. Jesus took on a body that we could recognize so He could minister as one of us. How did God decide on the form of the human body on that long ago creation day? I'm not sure. But He was pleased with His handiwork. And then He breathed His very own breath into a motionless, play-dough man and that man became a soul, a living eternal soul. God knew the picture wouldn't be complete without a woman, but He let Adam discover that for himself. And then finally, there was a couple, a complete representation of the nature of God. Man embodies His strength and power; woman reflects His majesty and tender love. And this is seen not only in their physical forms, but in their very natures, their souls which are heaven-breathed.

The handprint of God stamped upon the genders is the defining mark of each. It is rather an instinctual understanding. Even in primitive peoples, men are most often the hunters and warriors while women are the gatherers and nurturers. It is written somewhere in human DNA.

God defines manhood and womanhood by His image, His design for the human family. Throughout history, people have defined the genders with clothing, occupations, hobbies, and relationship roles. These are right and good if they mesh with the principles of God's Word. But I think the culture is wobbling on the precipice. Because the present generation scoffs at traditional roles and accouterments, they look for other ways to differentiate the genders. And too often, it seems that society is defining gender through sexuality. Women today feel compelled to confirm their femininity by revealing those parts of their bodies which prove it. Men are emotionally baffled, wandering in a borderless land, unsure of what masculinity is all about. And those who find themselves unhappy with the obvious gender with which they were born are now "becoming" another gender because they feel like it better "fits" who they were meant to be (and they procure the bodily apparatus to confirm their "choice").

I fully understand the fact that humans are prone to error and have, in the past, imposed unfortunate restrictions and burdens on one gender or the other. And, thankfully, men and women of sensibility have tried to correct those errors. Yet, not every "victory" has been a good one; the ranks of confused souls grow daily.

As women of faith, it is our calling, our delight to showcase the beautiful plan of God for womanhood. It need not be proclaimed by sensuality in dress or manner, but is most wonderfully affirmed through our daily lives which are conformed to the image of Christ and displayed in the gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4) which God values in His daughters. And that attitude will affect every detail of our living.

equality and Easter

2010-04-04T15:53:00.000-04:00

No woman is mentioned as having spoken against Jesus in his life, or as having had a share in his death. Of woman born was he annointed for his burial; a woman -- Pilate's wife-- pleaded for him, and here women wept over him. Women ministered to him in life, laid him in the grave, and were the first to meet him at his rising.

-- Spurgeon Devotional Commentary

The femininists rave about equality.

I don't need to do so.

The very life of Jesus bears out the truth that, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus." (Galatians 3:28)

The differences of role and place are very clear in Scripture, but there is never a question of worth. Men and women are simply gifted to do certain things better than others, and life works best when everyone delights in doing what they do well. I am no more insulted that my husband is gifted for leadership than he should be that I am better at multi-tasking, His ability to focus on a single task makes him a a better leader; my ability to do several things at once makes me a better mother. It is a diversity of gifts, never a statement of value.

The creation of man and woman was complete and good in the Divine eyes. Alone, each is incomplete. Together, they balance and complete one another. Incorrect thinking on this topic abounds today -- the culture has skewed it one way; the fearful church another. Yet, the creative design was perfect -- the power of God exhibited in the strength of the man; the majesty of God displayed in the beauty of the woman. And what splendor in their unity -- a portait of the Godhead - a covenant relationship.

What we really need are men and women who will live out the truth; sure of their standing before God and in His creation and quietly prove to anyone watching that our worth comes from what we know about God and His loving plan and it is unchanging.

"And you are complete in him . . ." (Col 2:10)

reflecting Easter glory

2010-03-28T17:02:00.000-04:00

Easter is almost here, and I don't feel ready. My girls and I are still trying to find the right outfit and shoes and accessories and I still have to buy the ham and plan the dinner. I haven't got the malted milk candy eggs or chocolate bunnies for the Easter baskets. And I've only got a week before the big day.

If you're thinking that these things aren't necessary, you're right. They are extras.

The only necessary thing is a clear fact -- Jesus is risen from the dead. Without any other accouterment, that makes a glorious Easter.

I don't know what the women wore to the tomb on the first Easter -- it probably wasn't new; there was nothing to celebrate (at least, that's what they thought). But perspective changes everything. An empty grave and angels can do a lot for a woman's frame of mind! And they believed. Despite the skeptiscism of the men and the incredibility of the story, they held onto the truth.

Today, women still believe. We build our lives on the claims of Jesus Christ and share our news with those who doubt us. We celebrate the hope we have because of Him and let His Easter glory radiate in our everyday lives.

I hope you have a new dress for Easter Sunday--it's befitting a daughter of the Heavenly Father to dress up for this special celebration, His victory celebration through the resurrection of His Son. And I hope you reflect Him in whatever you're doing this week, even filling Easter baskets with candy eggs. It's all about Him anyway.

a beauty book to study

2010-03-17T15:51:00.001-04:00

Today, the UPS driver delivered 3 boxes to my door. Reflecting Beauty is in print and available! I am grateful to God for this blessing and hope that my journey of discovery in this study will resonate with other Christian women.

I have always been concerned with "why." Much of my writing has sought to answer the "why" of some aspect of life. This book is no different. Beauty attracts us; beauty has power -- why? Who made it that way?

The issue of beauty is part of life. The soul and gaze of humanity is attuned to beauty and that's how it was created to be by God. Beauty defines the essence of womanhood; it is in her very soul -not the self-serving, lecherous kind but the good, gentle, luminescent kind. Women everywhere desire beauty -- why? Because they're innately vain? Sinful? Frivolous? That's not what the Bible says.

In trying to answer the "why," I was amazed at the pearls of truth nestled in God's Word. There are stories of women who struggled and who found the answers. There are tales of beautiful women who honored God. There is beauty advice. There are principles every woman can apply to her life. And, there is the portait of a Heavenly Father who created His daughters to be a reflection of His majesty and who celebrates their special individual beauty as they offer it to Him for His glory.

saturday morning rescue

2010-02-28T17:09:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, one of our kittens was missing. My husband and I were concerned (we care about our pets) but we didn't feel the urgency our daughter did to do something right away. Bundled in her coat against the winter morning, she went walking down our street, calling the kitty's name, and listening to hear from him. It wasn't long until she got a response; Porky was caught up in a neighbor's tree. How long he was up there we do not know. He may have spent a very uncomfortable Friday night or maybe just a few hours on cold, bare branches. But he was ready to get out of there and, hearing Autumn's voice, knew that compassion and salvation were near. He was meowing for his little cat life. After my husband hoisted Autumn up into the tree, she was able to reach the kitten and bring him down. Not before she got scratched in the process, but then, rescuers usually bear scars, don't they? And so, for a little kitty, a day that began in fear and bondage ended in food and a loving embrace.

What a great reminder of the love of our rescuing God! He missed us before we ever missed Him and came looking, listening for us to call out to Him. Disregarding the inconvenience and pain of the rescue, He reached out for us and brought us to safety in strong and tender arms. The love my daughter has for her kitten is just a spark of the great blazing love God has for us. He is all about rescue. And we love Him because He first loved us and gave Himself for us.

In Ezekiel 16, the nation of Israel is compared to an abandoned baby that was rescued and lavished with extravagant love. As the little girl grew into womanhood, she turned her back on her benefactor and sought other admirers. But, He loved her while she wandered and when she was broken and despairing, He forgave her and restored her and made her lovely again.

That is a picture of what God does for each of us. And as women, we have a unique understanding of how God wants to cherish and protect us because that is the longing of every woman in human relationship. How much more meaningful to realize that longing is but a glimpse into the heart of God and His loving plan for our lives.

(for more study, see chapter 2 of

Reflecting Beauty: Embracing the Creator's Design,

releasing april 2010)

the creation equation

2010-02-21T17:01:00.003-05:00

In her book, Girl Perfect, former supermodel Jennifer Strickland talks about the feminine desire to be validated by a man. Speaking from her personal experience in the modeling industry, Jennifer relates how a woman feels valuable if a man affirms her but feels the opposite if he tells her differently. The truth to her is his perspective of her. Our culture is, of course, slanted toward unwholesome affirmation in this regard.

But, what about the positive side of this fact? Why are women tuned in to the cues, affirming and otherwise, given by men?

I think we need look no further than the beautiful creation account in Genesis 2. In this record of God's great work, we read that woman was created to be the prized companion to the man. In I Corinthians 11:9, the Apostle Paul tells us that woman was created because of man.

Despite the squawk of the femininists, God's Word indicates that woman was created to fill a certain place, not as a counterpart to man, but as a compliment to him. This is not insult, but honor. The top tier of the mighty pyramids was set last; it is neither as large nor as strong as the foundation, but it is the crowning touch and the peak which is seen for miles. Indeed, Proverbs 12:4 says "an excellent wife is a crown to her husband." (NKJV) A king is known by his crown, and a woman has that power in the life of her husband.

There is a great difference between equal worth and equal place. How we should value the diversity exhibited in the way God created the two genders! He, whose heart is pure love, could only create what is good and beautiful. If our human relationships do not seem beautiful, we should look for another to blame. And it will not be hard to see the Enemy's tracks.

Men are wired to appreciate and women are designed to desire appreciation. It is the hand and glove pattern that we see reflected numerous times in our world. God makes the complete set; He has no 2 + 2 = x equations in the natural world. He could never leave a missing link. The only factor we have to search for is His presence and He has promised that even then, if we seek Him, we will find Him.

So, it is true that women are influenced by the gaze, words and reactions of the men in their lives. It is a good thing designed by God. The value a Christian man places on his wife is important because He is representing God to her and showing the love that caused Jesus to give His own life for us. That's part of the mysterious and wonderful way that marriage represents Christ and the church. And the desire and efforts of a Christian wife to please her husband are so profound because she is to mirror the devotion the church has for Christ. It is a beautiful, reciprocal relationship with divine meaning.

In a culture influenced by self and sin, the system often doesn't work properly. That's why men and women seeking authentic relationships have to look to One whose eyes and words always convey truth. When the attitude or behavior of either is twisted in the direction of self, the power of relationship becomes destructive. And we have all felt the impact of painful relationships, whether our own or someone close to us.

How glorious that Christ continually beckons us to find the joy of relationship aligned with His Word! He is the vital factor in every union. He supplies what is missing when we rely on His strength. And the result of that equation fulfills and makes content because He fills in the gaps with His love. Then we can more fully see for what we were made.

For more study on this topic, see Chapter 5 of the soon-to-be-released book

Reflecting Beauty; Embracing the Creator's Design.

To order Jennifer Stickland's book:
http://www.amazon.com/Girl-Perfect-Jennifer-Strickland/dp/1599793431

a pugilist's opinion

2010-02-07T18:45:00.000-05:00

"Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down in the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell. Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You've got to work hard to get to them . . . Your body is sacred. You're far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too." -- Muhammd Ali

(More Than a Hero: Muhammad Ali's Life Lessons Presented through His Daughter's Eyes,

Hana Yasmeen Ali, Pocket Books, 2000)

Biblical femininity is both sacred and radical. It is beautiful in stunning and surprising and honorable ways. At its very core is the recognition of its great value.

" . . .a woman must not betray her mystery. She must be a guardian of purity, not staining her precious gift by flaunting her sexuality in the way she dresses, the way she carries herself, or by her thoughts, speech, or actions. Because woman has been entrusted with such a deep and profound mystery, and because her body and soul are so united, when she betrays her purity, she wounds herself very deeply."

(Jean Zampino, http://www.theroadtoemmaus.org/)

Womanhood is a sacred trust under which we are to live our lives. Respecting ourselves and others in our appearance is the most obvious way we can respond to this call. It shows how much we value our femininity.

“Womanhood is a call. It is a vocation to which respond under God . . . “

(Elisabeth Elliot, Let Me Be a Woman, Tyndale House, 1976,p. 62)

DNA and personal holiness

2010-01-31T17:06:00.001-05:00

I used to think it was very simple. You pray for cleansing; God takes out the problems = life is solved. You can now live a victorious Christian life. The little stuff is over. What I didn't understand for many years is that implied in the adjective "victorious" is a battle, something over which to be victorious.

Okay, I know what you're thinking. Yes, I believe that God's grace gives us power over sin. As Paul said in 1 Cor. 15:57 " . . .thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

I'm making reference here not to the sinful self, but to the human self. You see, I've discovered some stuff about me after living with myself for a few decades. I have some bends in my DNA that won't be "cleansed" out of me. They're part of the tiny puzzle of DNA that threads itself through every cell. That's what being human is all about--having this treasure (of godliness) in "earthen vessels." (or as Patsy Clarimont said it, "cracked pots." (2 Corinthians 4: 7)

I'm a firstborn. So what? There is definitely something to the theory of birth order ( I recommend the books of Dr. Kevin Leman, if you want to understand more). I'm a melancholy (yes, I think there is something to temperament types too) I'm a driven, play-by-the-rules-on-the-box, sequential, sentimental, loyal, artistic, introspective, sometimes too sensitive, people-pleasing kind of person. Hmmm.

Before you get to liking my confession too much, consider that you have some innate quirks in your psyche as well. We all have. The work of the Holy Spirit is to "temper" our temperament; to gentle us and guide us to being more Christ-life. But guess what? It doesn't happen overnight.

I can surrender in an instant. I can be cleansed of impurity in an instant. But I cannot be mature or complete in an instant. So, I'm very glad for Phillipians 1:6 where I am assured of "this very thing" that He who began the work will perform or "finish" it.

You see, all through life I get to practice minute by minute surrender to the will of Christ. In that way, I know that "this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." (2 Cor. 4:7 NIV)

That means, there will be certain struggles I face because of my unique temperament that you will not. And likewise with you. Does that mean that we are not filled with the power of the Holy Spirit? No, it means He gives us the power to triumph. But it is not automatic. It is still a life of choice--the choice to maintain surrender.

Realizing that some parts of our natural emotions and preferences are not sinful can help us live more authentically. Because when you realize that some things will not be "removed," you will come to rely so much more heavily on the daily power of the Holy Spirit. And instead of constantly praying "Oh, God take this from me" you begin to search His Word and seek His face for power to live minute by minute. And you will begin to gain the insight to see "OK, this inclination isn't sin; it's how my temperament predisposes me to feel or act. Now what is the Christ-like response?" (Dr. Allen Brown has a great study on power in our personal lives that I recommend.)

I am thankful that God is faithful, merciful and compassionate. I'm not at the head of His class, but I feel blessed to be among those who are learning to trust Him and to dig deeper into His awesome Truth. It is powerful and life-giving.

attractive or attracting?

2010-01-21T21:01:00.000-05:00

In the fairytales, they don't even have to try. The maidens are fair without even giving it a thought. Though they work from dawn to dusk (Cinderella) and sleep in the forest (Snow White) and spend days in a secluded tower (Rapunzel), they charm the Prince with innate grace and beauty.

Real life is a little more complicated. In our culture, women are expected to work at being charming. Well, seductive is the word that is really meant, I suppose. In their clothing, in their manner, in their words, women are expected not only to be attractive, but to be alluring in a sensual way.

Is there a difference between being attractive and being seductive? Is one the natural by-product of the other? If so, what is a Christian woman to do? Determine to be unattractive in the pursuit of being holy?

Or is there a definite look and manner that define a sensual motive? Is there a decided line that divides the merely beautiful from the certainly sensual? Are women in our culture aware of that? Do they exploit it? Is there a difference between being "attractive and being "attracting?"

For women of faith, there has always been this conundrum: is it possible to be beautiful and godly? What does that mean for our marriages? How about our daughters? Does it affect our friendships?

What do you think? My opinion and the things I discovered in the Bible are in the book Reflecting Beauty: Embracing the Creator's Design. God has some wonderful things to say to His daughters who were made to reflect His beauty--things that will challenge and convict and also delight and affirm. His design is good and His ways are right. It is a fascinating topic, and I'm still learning.

in the meantime

2009-12-20T15:04:00.000-05:00

They grow so fast, "while you're not looking" the old folks say. I think I've finally figured out while it is so surprising to behold the maturing of a child, even your own.

It happens on the sly, between the layers of life, on the ho-hum days when you're so stacked with things to do that it seems this week will stretch into forever. But it doesn't. This week turns into next and soon four weeks make a month, and then there is another birthday or a lost tooth or a larger shoe size and I shake my head to dispel the dizziness at how fast my toddlers are turning into teens.

Children grow in the meantime, in the middle, in between the big things. If life changes only happened during the gala events, we could all prepare for their coming. But life doesn't wait for me to get the schedule fixed or have this project completed or that major task checked off. Life just keeps ticking by, tiny seconds, irretrievable, fragile.

I do want my children to grow up, to experience adulthood, love, family. I anticipate those days when our minds will be equal in depth and we can talk more about the abstract issues of life (though I may miss the talks about dinosaurs and hurt tummies and princesses). I am already to that level with some of my children; the others are lingering in the shadowy places between childhood and adolescence, their minds reaching out to understand, their hearts on the cusp of comprehension.

Yes, I want them to be there, to be whole, so that I can step back from the cocoon and marvel at what God created from the little seed of life He let me carry for Him those nine months. But I don't want it to slip up on me. Maybe all mothers fumble through this passage. Is it possible for a busy wife and mother to be ever aware of the wonderful changes happening under our noses? Probably not.

But maybe I will be more observant as the days bring ever more rapid transformations in the children who are really God's, not mine. He only blesses me with the privilege of nurturing them for a time. So it is only right that He controls the growth chart; I just record the changes.

where is solitude

2009-12-04T14:24:00.000-05:00

At the present, solitude is a luxury to which I am not accustomed. This season of life is compacted into the frame of homeschool and child-rearing. It's what God wants of me just now. I see His imprint.

Yet, my fingers crave the slick edges of the keyboard and my brain wants to sort out the tangle of experiences and musings that lay just below the surface of daily life, as vital as the circulatory system in the body but unseen beneath the roughened exterior of the routine.

I can no more process life without writing (internally if not on paper) than I can live a day without breathing. But my children are more important, and if God has directed this path than He will help me discover the ledges of solitude along the way.

Maybe for you, it's not writing, but time to bake or sew or scrapbook or shop or read. Each of us has a special luxury that, while not required for basic bodily existence, is vital to defining who we are. As Elisabeth Elliot says, anything can become a sacrifice to Him. And if we offer it out of surrender to His will for the day, surely it is not insignificant nor wasted in our journey of faith.

i like cities

2009-11-20T14:21:00.001-05:00

Last weekend, I spent several hours in Indianapolis with my friend, Sarah Fry. We had a blast shooting pictures and having a great gabfest (we covered everything from cute shoes to prophecy). It was awesome.

We discovered we have a mutual penchant for cities. That was pretty neat.

I am fascinated with cities. I am infatuated with cities. I like the lights, the sparkle, the bustle, the buildings, the fountains, the bistros, and the spirit of them.

Maybe it's because I'm a social person, and I enjoy being in the midst of moving crowd--navigating the streets and crosswalks, catching bits of conversation, watching the colors of clothing and feeling a part of the energy. Maybe it's because I love a little glam by proxy--observing the limos and the ladies in furs, glimpsing the richness of the luxury hotels and thrilling to the gorgeous displays in the shop windows. Maybe it's because I'm caught up in the human drama being enacted there -- sighing over the flowers being delivered for the wedding, smiling over the couple in love riding in the carriage, wondering about the woman with the attache case or the giggly excitement of a group of teenage shoppers.

Sarah, who sees everything artistically, feels that cities are a testament to God's image in man, an expression of divine DNA in human creativity. Wow, I like that. Great thought. I think you're right, Sarah.

Yet, there is a dark side to city life -- the seedy districts, the homeless with cardboard signs, the crime and drugs and heartache represented by thousands of broken people who call the cement jungle their home. This aspect of city living is not enjoyable; there is nothing glamourous about sin and its consequences.

I recall having a discussion with my brother about how stories in the Bible seem to suggest that cities were lairs of evil. Think of Sodom and Gomorrah, Babylon, Rome, and the far-off country of the prodigal. It does seem that wherever there is a concentration of people, sin multiplies.

But not all cities are icons of wickedness. Remember Jersualem, the Holy City? And how about the New Jerusalem, the city foursquare? Heaven will be a city -- it has gates, walls, and dwellings and maybe even a park (what about the crystal river and tree of life?) Wherever it actually is, it will be a place of home and holiness and happiness. I want to go there.

Earthly cities will always have the dark side. But the heavenly city will be all light. And no one is denied entrance if they come through Jesus Christ.

That must be the reason that men are compelled to build cities and why people are drawn to experience life there. I think the creation of cities reflects the inner desire for heaven. At least that's what I'm going to ponder the next time I enjoy the atmosphere of a city.

But now they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly: wherefore God is not ashamed of them, to be called their God; for he hath prepared for them a city. Hebrews 11:16 (ASV)

so much to learn

2009-11-08T16:06:00.000-05:00

I had a great time at the Writers Conference this weekend in Indy. I learned a lot and got to interact with some wonderful writers and editors. It was exciting for me to have the opportunity to share a little bit about how ICWC has impacted my writing journey and see the cover of Reflecting Beauty projected on the screen beside me. I'm thinking "Wow, this is really me up here, with a book being published soon." But, I couldn't dwell on that aspect of it--it would make me feel suddenly nervous to realize what a surreal moment it was!

So, I got that over with and just immersed myself in the atmosphere. The speakers were tremendous and the information was so valuable. I came away realizing how very much I like to write, but how far I have to go in this apprenticeship.

And I have come to a greater realization that the written word should be both art and truth. Words can express the wonder of experience and the delight of a narrative but they should also deliver the illumination of truth. So, I think I'll work even harder on both the mechanics and the focus of my writing. There is so much more to learn.

My voice instructor, Garen Wolf I, often said. "Music is the vehicle upon which the Word of God rides." Oh, that my written words could dare to be the same.

It's Listed!

2009-10-13T16:18:00.002-04:00

It was a pretty wonderful moment when I found my book listed on the "Coming Soon" page of my publisher's website. The official release date is April 1, 2010, but you can check their website for pre-ordering information.

A big thanks to my editor, to the Lord who really owns the truths in this study and to my own sisters in faith for whom I'm so grateful.

Here's the official blurb:

God has monogrammed His beauty on you. Beauty attracts us, because it is the visible imprint of God's image on His daughters.

Your Father delights in you.

In this volume of the Sisters in Faith Bible Studies, you will meet several women who embraced their God-given desire to be beautiful, as well as God's command to live a holy life. As you share and grow together with sisters in Christ, you, too, will be empowered to resist our culture's destructive beauty messages and embrace God's heart of love for His daughters.

For more info, visit Wesleyan Publishing House/Reflecting Beauty

Double Take ~ an exciting new novel from Jenness Walker

2009-10-11T15:57:00.002-04:00

I'm pleased to announce that Steeple Hill has just released a novel of romantic suspense written by my friend, Jenness Walker.

Cole Leighton can barely believe his eyes. A woman on his bus has just been abducted—in an exact reflection of a scene from the bestselling novel he’s reading. Someone is bringing the book to life…and isn’t above forcing an innocent woman to follow the story to its tragic end. Using the novel as his playbook, Cole catches up with the beautiful victim—but rescuing Kenzie Jacobs doesn’t keep her safe for long. The killer is writing his own ending, and none of the twists and turns lead to happily ever after.

Jenness Walker has loved to read and create stories since she was a little girl. She is happiest when dreaming up a new plot or crafting a new character, but she also enjoys decorating and taking roadtrips with her husband and web-designer husband, Jason.

Jenness lives in Florida where she occasionally takes a break from writing to indulge in a strawberry smoothie or delight in a deli sub lunch by the water. One day she hopes to own an Infiniti G-35 Sports Coupe with shiny chrome rims, but in the meantime, she gets a kick out of old books and sepia-toned pictures and of course, spending lots of time with her friend Hyacinth--yes, her laptop has a name.

Jenness' debut novel, Double Take, has just been released from Steeple Hill. Look for it at your local Walmart or favorite bookstore or click the book icon in the upper right corner to visit Jenness' website.

Guest Article

2009-10-04T15:35:00.001-04:00

I discovered the following article while doing some research for some writing I am doing. I think this lady has captured something significant here--there were so many women unnamed in the Bible who lived and breathed and experienced wonderful things. It made me see them from a different persepctive. I hop you will enjoy it too and will be challenged to think of yourself, as Ms. Donahue says, as an "ingredient woman" used in God's recipe for history. -- VQ

Nameless Women of the Bible

(Mentioned "Between the Lines")

by Lois Donahue

The last group is by far the largest because it encompasses the remaining, legitimate, unnamed women who existed ‘between the lines’ of the Bible. They were part of that same majority of people who live day-to-day during any given historical time-frame -- the kind of people usually lumped together in the overused expression ‘great masses’ or, worse yet, so often grossly underrated and mistakenly described as ‘ordinary’. In reality, of course, these are the people who are an absolute necessity in ‘making history’ but, in most instances, overlooked in recording it. This does not mean we intentionally overlook these particular Bible women - we know they were there - we just need to be reminded - we need to occasionally ‘bring them to life’. First, by realizing that they were as diverse as we are - in size and shape and disposition and personality and temperament; but even more importantly, by making an effort to extract them from the homogenized crowd and think of them as individuals. After all, let’s face facts by using the following examples. At any given moment during the Bible time slot, there was an actual living, breathing woman who most likely --

- feared for her life as the flood waters rose -

- was a neighbor to Lot and his family in Sodom -

- also laughed at the possibility of Sarah getting pregnant at her age -

- had calloused hands from working as a slave in Egypt -

- walked on dry land through the Red Sea with a child in her arms -

- had a relative who fought with Joshua at Jericho-

- had dry and wrinkled skin from the desert sun --

- worked as a servant for Elizabeth and was there when Mary visited -

- saw her infant son killed because Herod was paranoid -

- asked Joseph to make her a table -

- lived in Nazareth and watched Jesus grow up -

- drank wine at the Cana wedding -

- got too old to carry water from the well -

knew personally one of the lepers Jesus cured -

- cleaned and cooked fish caught in the Sea of Galilee -

- questioned her son about the missing barley loaves and dried fish -

- knew her husband paid his taxes to Matthew -

- sat in the shade of one of Gethsemani’s olive trees -

- on a hot day sat with her feet in the cool water of the Jordan River -

- waved palms when Jesus entered Jerusalem -

- helped prepare food for the meal we now call the “Last Supper” -

- shouted “crucify him!” -

- was frightened by that Friday afternoon “eclipse of the sun” -

- lived on after Jesus died -

- stayed in a tent made by Paul -

- cried when she heard Stephen had been stoned to death -

- at some point had to decide - remain Jew or become ‘Christian’?

I hope the above sampling of women from this final group will help you think of other women, just as real, who, for whatever reason, have been ‘overlooked’.

Here at the end I would like to repeat the quote I used at the very beginning of this two-parter on Bible women, “people are the ingredients from which history is made”. I hope it will always be remembered that women who lived in Bible times as well as each of us and all those women yet to come -- whether they are a ‘pinch-of’, a ‘teaspoon-of’, a ‘cup-of’ or a ‘quart-of’ -- are all “ingredient women” obviously chosen by God to be part of what we might think of as His “recipe” for history.

- http://www.catholicwomen.com/kitchen18b.htm

cultural assault

2009-09-29T14:21:00.002-04:00

The more I experience life, the more I realize how tightly Satan's fingers are wrapped around our earth, specifically the culture.

I am passionate about helping women realize the deception we face on a daily basis. Many of the challenges in our world are the direct result of a skewed society which is like putty in the Enemy's hands. Nowhere is this more clearly seen than in the culture's obsession with feminine beauty as a means of self-worth and as the most valuable asset she can possess.

Women want to be beautiful; were created to be beautiful. The entrance of sin did horrendous things to us through the warping of DNA and the aging process to which we are all prone, so not all of us perfectly display the beauty to which we are heirs, but it was God's design and will, nonetheless.

You may disagree with me, but I have come to believe that the idea of feminine beauty plays a huge role in many of the cultural and spiritual battles we face today. Relationships have taken a huge hit in this arena. That is Satan's ultimate goal anyway. Relationship defines our God -- He exists in relationship (the Trinity); He comes to us in a salvation relationship (Father/child); and He plans our eternity in relationship (Christ is the Bridegroom--the church is the Bride). In fact, the reason the human family exists in the first place is because our God desired relationship with those who could love Him back. I firmly believe that Satan delights in destroying relationship more than anything else, for it is close to the heart of God.

Feminine beauty affects cultural ills that are not only destroying lives but relationships as well.

Consider this:

Because a man lusts and a woman desires to feel affirmed, they engage in intimacy outside of marriage -- their future relationship with a spouse is damaged. A child is conceived; it is aborted--a woman faces a lifetime of guilt and all her future relationships are affected; a baby will never get to have the relationship of a mother and father. When the parents discover the truth, the relationships of the parents and the daughter is traumatized. And it started because a man thinks the pleasure offered in beauty is a legitmate reason to engage in intimacy and a woman is willing to trade her beauty for affirmation and love.

The insidious parasite of lust has attached itself firmly to our culture. You cannot walk down the street, visit a mall, dine out in a restaurant or shop for groceries in Walmart without seeing its tentacles entwined in the styles, the advertising, and the manner of others. It is draining the value of women and the sapping the moral strength of men.

The culture will never align itself with biblical principles regarding the proper celebration of beauty, but we as Christian women must be aware of what is truth.

The study book for women title Reflecting Beauty: Embracing the Creator's Design is my challenge to the deception in the culture. Writing this book was an awesome experience. When you discover what God's Word really says about feminine beauty, it is like inhaling a fragrant breeze after escaping a stinking barnyard (sorry, farmers!) It isn't suffocating or depressing. It is life-giving and enlightening.

I am also trying to finish up a novel in which the characters come face to face with some current issues along this line with some suspense and romance mixed in as well. I hope that women will read these books and be empowered to rethink and reject what the culture constantly spews in our faces. The ideas aren't mine anyway; they are His. God delights in beauty; but He also wants to protect beauty, and it is never a measure of a woman's worth; it is the way she reflects His majesty. This is the message that we are to celebrate and model in our lives. It is exciting!

of books and mom guilt and such

2009-09-24T17:03:00.002-04:00

As a mom, I tend to be part of the guilt brigade. Been there? I should have done . . . I should be doing . . . oh, this book recommends this . . . have I ruined my children's chances in life??

So, the very few things that I feel halfway good about I tend to clasp tightly to me; they bring me comfort that maybe all is not lost.

One thing I have tried to pass on to my kids is a love for the library. Now, let me rephrase that -- I love the library; they are hopefully learning to love the library. Often, they protest going, but inevitably, once we get there, they get engrossed in pulling out interesting books. I hope that the regular exposure will create in them a fever for good words.

My father introduced me to books and the thrill of a good story. My folks were evangelists and many weeks of the year, we lived in a camper trailer at one church or another for special services. And, after the service, before bedtime, my father would pull out the current book he was reading to my brothers and I and fill our little space with the adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, Joy Spartan of Parsonage Hill, Little Pilgrim's Progress. the Bears of Blue River, the Enormous Egg, Escape from the Shawnees, River of Fire, Alexi's Secret Mission, and many others. We would usually beg for another chapter; you know how frustrating it is to try to sleep when the hero is in a crisis moment? Those wonderful hours developed in me a love for books which I carry with me until this day.

Then, my father took us to the library. The smell of books is still one of my favorites. It is the smell of a new journey. I love to dig on the shelves and find a treasure I haven't seen before. My first library card was in Shelbyville, Tennessee at the Argie Cooper Public Library. It was a vintage red brick building with high shelves and artwork of flowers in vases and similar subjects. The card was white plastic with raised letters. The librarian would take the card and put it in a little machine; then she took the cards out of the back of the books I was getting and punched them down in the machine which would stamp my card number on them. Then she would put cards with the return date in the pocket in the back of the books and hand the stack to me. (remember this old process-- the digital system is better, but I spent many an hour "playing library" with my own homemade cards and everything!)

I have carried on the tradition--reading continued stories to my kids (though to be honest, it's been a while since I've done it now!) And they seemed to enjoy it as much as I did as a kid. I hope that means I'm doing something right there.

And we have a weekly "library day." It used to be Thursday, but now it's Wednesday. Things change, depending on what our present schdule is--just now, homeschooling and my grocery shopping day have dictated a change. And, oops, I forgot about a couple items due yesterday and now owe a fine! Maybe some feel that a library fine is the height of irresponsibility. To me, it's a sign that I use that place a whole lot (okay, that's justifying myself, but hey, it's my blog and my fine, right?) And, as my friend Leah says, when you pay a fine, you're supporting the library! Like that!

So, today, my troops and I will march into our little library and make our selections. And mom will feel that maybe she is winning part of this parenting battle after all. And, as a writer myself, the fact that they are getting up close and personal with words makes me feel good too. (by the way, I'd love to hear about your mom guilt and triumphs--we all have them, you know--and your kids need what you bring to their lives--they were custom designed for you!)

Oops, sorry

2009-09-21T10:44:00.002-04:00

Sorry for the confusion, blogging friends. I changed my blog's address and then realized I had no way of telling all of you about it. So, it is back to the original one and I hope you find me . . . . .!

the signature of God

2009-09-13T14:57:00.002-04:00

Last night, I watched my friend Kim Collingsworth play the piano and marveled again at the artistry of God. As one of the premiere pianists in the gospel music world today, Kim has a style all her own. You do not only listen to her music; you experience her music. The majestic strains of the Hallelujah Chorus roared beneath her fingers, and those of us in the audience were on our feet for more than one reason. Handel's music is magnificent, but when it is coupled with a heart passionate in worship, the effect is euphoric. It is impossible to observe Kim at the keyboard and not be drawn into her expression of praise to her Lord. I felt tears in my eyes as my soul responded to her offering to God.

Musicians who play from the heart achieve that synthesis of soul and fingers that causes the lines to blue until those listening cannot separate the instrument from the musician. They are one, bonded with inner passion that makes the hand pulsate with the heart's expression. When one is in the presence of such art, the majesty of God is deafening. It is like the mighty Niagara--all those near it are overawed by its very presence. It spills onto the spirit and brings the being of God into focus.

The princple of offerings brought unto God is seen throughout the Bible. Before the atoning death of Christ, substitute animal sacrifices were brought to purify the people. But now since He paid the total price, God asks us to offer ourselves and everything He has invested in us. It is to be "a spiritual act of worship." (Romans 12:1) This is the kind of offering I witnessed in Kim's music.

The great artists know that they are reflecting something deeper and greater than themselves. Is that what Michelangelo realized as he swabbed the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel? Is that what Bach pondered as he thundered out great fugues on his organ? Is that why the swell and tide of great music brings our palms together in a timeless expression of wonder and makes us rise to our feet in amazement? Probably. Whenever artistic expression causes in us a beatific awe, we can be sure that God is there. His signature is unmistakable.

The world is more lovely because those who have such gifts offer them up to God and let us listen in as they do. As Gloria Gaither said in a tribute to Rusty Goodman, we need these "poet troubadours" in our world. We need to feel their intensity, their dedication, and their rapture. We need them to take us with them into their world so we can better see the Creator in our own. Thank you, Kim. Thank you for being extravagant in your expression of worship through music. It brought Him into focus for us all.

how cool is that?

2009-09-04T15:02:00.000-04:00

I just viewed a news clip about one man who lived"off the grid" for a whole year. It seems that in that time, he ans his family did not use electicity, a car, or other conveniences as they were trying to lessen their impact on the environment. He has written a book on their experience (published on recycled paper) and there is a documentary coming out as well.

I applaud his desire to preserve our natural resources, though I probably come at it from a different angle. The earth is God's --He preserves it until He is finished-- man is the caretaker, the steward as opposed to the earth belongs to the human family and we need to keep it going for our children and grandchildren. I think it's a matter of honoring a trust rather than responding to panic. And, as those entrusted with God's world, we have an obligation to care for it in every way possible.

What I found especially interesting was one of the tips he gave for making less impact on the earth -- take a day of rest. He went on to describe that as not turning things on or purchasing anything--understandably this would cause a family to use less electrical energy and have less "paper" products with which to encumber the earth (most purchased items have paper/plastic wrappings of some kind which add to the garbage load).

How cool that God had the "day of rest" figured out a long time ago. From the beginning of the planet, (yep, it did have a definite beginning, no evolutionary process needed) He instituted the work and rest cycle into everything, from vegetation growth to animal habits to human health. (Exodus 20:11) And even in the perfect Garden, there presumably was a day of rest, when the first couple took a break from their cartaking responsibilites. I guess we still need one too, since we have considerably less physical resources than did they.

So, want to save the earth (hmm, well how about be a good steward of it) and give yourself a better chance at a longer life? Do the "day of rest" thing. It'll do you good.

measuring life

2009-08-16T16:06:00.002-04:00

"Indeed, You have made my days as handbreadths, And my age is as nothing before You . . . ."
(Psalm 39:5 NKJV)

For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. . . ." (James 4:14 NKJV)

Like the fragrant mist rising from a cup of gourmet coffee . . . .that is the span of human life. Seems insignificant, useless, invaluable. But, yielded to Him, the aroma of one life can reflect the essence of Christ -- love and service. Just as I like to lean over my mug and inhale the spice of Southern Toasted Pecan coffee with cream, a life well lived will draw others close to enjoy the flavor it exudes.

So much is packed into our lives that it's easy to forget its brevity. It zooms by, one week disappearing into the next. That's why I want to make sure that, in the calm, sane moments, my surrender is strong and my focus is clear. If I do life any other way, that brief puff of steam will evaporate into eternity wasted on self. It's only when He is the center that I can be sure what I do will last beyond the moment and the mist of my life will be exchanged for the stratosphere of heaven.

ministry continues

2009-08-03T22:50:00.002-04:00

Our family has made a move this summer and now serving a church family in southern Indiana. Change is as enduring as the rising and setting of the sun, and God's grace goes before and behind and continues to fill our lives with His love. He's a wonderful Father.

the security of one's place

2009-07-20T15:55:00.003-04:00

The former president is confused. Jimmy Carter announced that he is separating from the Southern Baptist denomianation because of their policies regarding women which he interprets as making them subservient and subject to the various often brutal whims of men.

I must disagree. First, in my years attending a Baptist dayschool and visiting various functions they sponsored, I never saw women treated with anything but respect. In fact, it seemed they had a singular understanding of the specialness of women because they had a distinct and honored place.

Second, I must disagree with him because as I understand the Southern Baptist position, it is based in the Bible. And the God who is holy and love and who created women as the glorious reflection of His own beauty would never condone nor command their mistreatment.

Third, I disagree with him because I feel that sometimes the talk about rights is an easy way to camoflauge the self-centered desire to have no restictions, no fences, "no one above me telling me what to do." If we are talking about equality because of color, social level, age, physical/mental condition, or gender, I say remember we all bear the image of our Creator and have the same privileges to life and liberty. But, when we take that to the point of using it as a battering ram against the creative order, it is wrong.

See, each gender has a place. And when we find that place, we find we fit it perfectly and are content and happy. I would suggest the writings of Elisabeth Elliott to shed further insight on this topic; she says it so well. One place is not higher nor better than the other, it is only different. It is no more wrong for a woman to be fitted for certain roles than it is for the man to be inadequate in others. But the very feminists who are gleeful to point out the inefficiencies of men cannot bring themselves to admit that there are some things for which they are better suited than others.

Of course, one must subscribe to the theory that men and women are different and unique to believe it. And this flies in the face of the blending of the genders which has been subtly tilting the culture for decades.

Women are different from men, gloriously so. Because of this, they are not supposed to bear the same burdens that men do. They were not made for it. Does that mean they are inferior? No more inferior than is silk to denim. Each is good, but suited for different applications.

Knowing one's place gives security to life. It makes life sane and enjoyable and peaceful. This means that men must recognize the worth of women and not abuse them and that women must understand the value of male leadership and its role in society. I write about this in my book titled Reflecting Beauty, coming soon from Wesleyan Publishing House. I feel it is such an important topic because so much of the culture hinges on our interpretations of femininity and masculinity and how they relate to one another and to God.

Balking against the Creator's design is the heart of self-will. And it always leads to confusion and discontentment. God's plan is for both genders to show mutual respect for the other and for the strength of the man to complement the beauty of the woman. It is a perfect design. And that's why the former president doesn't have a good argument. He's trying to rewrite the Creator's guide to life. It doesn't work.

the challenges of change

2009-07-02T01:08:00.004-04:00

In the past couple months, I have compared my journey to two vastly different people--Abraham and Alice (in Wonderland, that is).

Now, I know that's quite a comparison. So, here's why I say that.

Sometimes, life brings change so unexpectedly that it does feel like following a white rabbit down a hole and waking up in Wonderland, "where nothing is as it seems." The mind scrambles to keep up with the feet. Like Alice, the experience gets "curiouser and curiouser" as we look for the way back to normalcy.

On the other hand, in the abrupt movings of our lives, we can trace the hand of God and listening closely, we can hear His voice calling to us to have faith and follow Him step by step. Like Abraham, we rouse the camels and start out, assured that God is guiding the trip.

As my family transitions (what a nice word for a lot of packing!) into a new ministry location, I feel all those accompanying emotions that come with a move. A pastor's home is a fluid thing--it is subject to change. We leave part of ourselves here and begin to affix another part of ourselves there. To pastor is to leave your heart scattered across the country. And God rewards you with multitudes of friends.

As Paul admonished young Timothy, through all the changes of life, we must "continue in the things we have been assured of." The unchangeables are the realities in this world. I want my life to be fastened to the rock solid strength of Jesus. He gives "strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow." His faithfulness is great. (and with that, I've got more packing to do!)

life for me

2009-06-15T08:49:00.007-04:00

Summer is here in all its glory and I am relishing the sunny days and relaxed schedule. Well, relaxed may not be the right word, but at least my children and I are enjoying a break from the homework and lesson routine, not to mention a later bedtime.

Actually, while some activities have ceased, others have taken their place. Our family is making a move soon and so we have been swamped with sorting and packing. Our house resembles a shipping firm--boxes everywhere. We unloaded some of our loot on our friends and neighbors last week in a yard sale (hey, not all of it was worthless!) And some of it has been relegated to the dump. The rest we are trying to jam into boxes from the hospital, from the grocery store, etc. (thanks to all who are contributing to the Quesenberry Cardboard Drive!) Needless to say, we've been busy. More details on our new location coming later.

Next week is the Heartland Bible Methodist Camp and our family will be occupying our cute little cabin on the grounds. It has been so nice to have our own digs to relax in during camp. And this year, my brother Jim and his wife Audrey and their girls will be visiting our camp for a few days and I am looking forward to spending time with him. Family is so important and I don't get to see mine nearly enough! My kids love camp and are already talking about it -- it's worth all the grimy clothes and inconvenience to give them a connection to friends and an encounter with God. You can't go wrong with a combination like that.

I'm still doing some writing, although it has had to take a backseat right now with all the other things going on. My editor at Wesleyan Publishing is perfecting my manuscript and I'm anxious to see the finished product. I have a couple other book ideas -- a nonfiction and a fiction. Maybe when life settles down, I'll get more done on those. When I read how much time other authors spend tapping the keyboard, I'm discouraged. But God has given me other gifts as well -- my husband, my children, and our ministry together. So, each thing must fit its own niche. He makes all things beautiful in His time, not mine.

By the way, I was privileged to write an endorsement for the Indianapolis Christian Writers Conference. If you're interested, check out www.wesleyan.org/writers.

blog revamp

2009-05-31T15:06:00.003-04:00

Life is sometimes too complicated . . . . . .so, I'm taking action.

I have removed my decorating blog and opened my pastor's wives blog to general readers (yes, I know there will be non-pastor's wives reading it, but perhaps it will reach more people this way and it will give our sisters in faith a glimpse into what it's really like living in the parsonage!) If you are a pastor's wife, I especially invite you to take a look: http://www.thepastorswifeconnection.blogspot.com/

I am revamping my writing blog at http://www.valorieq.wordpress.com/ as well.

I will keep open the TLC blog as it is a way to keep a web presence for the magazine. http://www.theladiescompanion.blogspot.com/

When life gets to disproportionate, something has to go. Reminds me of those lava lamps from the '70's. Remember how those huge green blobs would form and just when it looked ridiculously shaped, part of it would break off and bob away? Consider that a visual for my blogging journey--the "blob" is too big--time to break off in manageable portions!

Keep checking this blog for all things VQ -- thoughts, pics, decorating, writing, etc., (but no lava lamps!)

2009-05-23T09:28:00.001-04:00

Come to Me, Summer

Come to me, summer, with rays of white gold
the warmth of the sun caressing my skin
the long hours of twilight extending my day.

Come to me, summer, with shades blue and green
like waves of the shore 'neath sparkling white sand,
like stripes on the chair by the barbecue grill.

Come to me, summer, with hours of cool treats,
the cold velvet of ice cream churned on the porch,
the tartness of lemonade at the family picnic.

Come to me, summer, with nature's parade,
blackberries picked with delighted young hands,
the fantasia of fireflies on a sweet night in June.

Come to me, summer, with sounds my ears know,
the symphony of crickets by the front porch swing,
the boom of the fireworks on the 4th of July.

Come to me, summer, with happiness and home,
fresh garden goodness gracing the table,
sweet memories made on a family vacation.

Come to me, summer, with days dipped in light,
with barefoot afternoons and watermelon evenings.
The curtain is rising; your moment has come.

Come to me, summer, I can hear the applause.

--Valorie Quesenberry

Cleveland and the Lake

2009-05-21T17:29:00.002-04:00

We spent a family day in Cleveland and enjoyed a

sunny few hours in the city by the lake.

sisters and strings

2009-05-06T12:43:00.002-04:00

Last evening was my daughters' 3rd violin recital, and it went very well. I was so proud of them. They have a very capable teacher in Mrs. Lydia Kunselman who has brought them so far in the past 2 years. And the Lord has used some other very special people to make these lessons happen. I am really thankful for the extras God gives us and delighted to see my daughters have an opportunity for such a great musical experience. I am just feeling thankful and happy right now.

Recital -- Bouree

2009-05-05T22:40:00.002-04:00

Violin Recital -- Worship Medley

2009-05-05T21:35:00.004-04:00

it's done

2009-05-01T23:03:00.004-04:00

Yesterday, I finally submitted my manuscript to my editor at Wesleyan Publishing House. It was an exciting moment in my writing journey. I am so indebted to many people who have helped me get to this point. Maybe I'll say more about that later.

I am very happy when I am sitting at the computer keyboard, working on one writing project or another. But, these last few weeks, I have felt the compulsion to get it down, get it right, and get it done. Thankfully, the first step is completed, but . . . there is much more work to be done as it goes through the editing and printing process.

Most of my writing is an extension of my soul, and this book is a sort of culmination of many things I have tried to write about in other articles. I feel very strongly about the subject matter. It is currently titled Keeping Beauty, but is very subject to change. I call it "an interpretation of the Creator's design;" it is written in the format of an 8 week study for women. It is currently scheduled for release in the spring of 2010. I will keep you updated on the progress.

I have been dabbling in fiction now and then, and hope to get seriously started on a novel very soon. I have an intriguing idea that I can't wait to get down in a story.

Of course, I am still continuing as editor of The Ladies' Companion as well as other bits of writing work. With my children getting out of school soon and a full summer schedule, I think I may have to keep my notebook close by to jot down those flashes of thought until I get to my computer!

IHC sightings

2009-04-19T14:23:00.002-04:00

Dad and Kaley

cousin togetherness
(Autumn and Kaley with Shannon and Meghan)

Autumn

Ashley

the convention center lobby

Dayton glimpses

2009-04-19T14:16:00.003-04:00

my fam -- Duane and our children
my 2 men -- Duane and Stewart

my brother Jim (R) talking with fellow pastor

Chris Cravens (niece Lauren is snoozing)

my older girls -- Ashley and Autumn

the kids' choir from Chapel of the Children

(over 350, I believe)

moody weather

2009-04-19T14:12:00.002-04:00

I have decided that northeastern weather is like me sometimes--prone to moods. Today, the skies are definitely melancholy. Yesterday was glorious sun; today is somber clouds. Just like a woman's prerogative to change her mind, the weather pattern where I live panders to the whim of the lakes and the froth of the barometric pressure. Alas, if only grey days were as romantic in reality as they seem in the British novels. Oh well, the only thing good about a temperamental nature is that bad can always turn to good in a blink. Here's hoping it works for the scene outside my window!

the God of broken paradoxes

2009-04-12T07:51:00.003-04:00

It is resurrection day! Glorious light; tremendous hope; eternal promise of new life. God fulfilled the prophecy that death would be conquered through His Son, Jesus Christ.

A group of women had come to offer one last loving service to the Master--wrapping His body with fragrant spices, the final sacrifice to the One they worshipped.

Imagine their wonder and amazement. See them stare in awe at the angel who speaks. He gives them a commission--go tell the others. No problem! They are out of there.

Now, remember this is ancient Israel. Women held a less important place than men in that culture. They were not allowed all the way into the temple, but had to remain in the women's court. They were not educated; they were not regarded as being equal in value. How like God to turn the tables and do the unexpected. There could be no greater affirmation of love for His daughters than to give them the privilege of hearing the good news first.

Enter the disciples--the practical fishermen and business men who followed Jesus. They are huddled in an attic room, hiding from the law. It was depression like never before. The men are probably drinking coffee, some engaged in hushed discussion; others staring silently off into space. The women burst into the meeting room, animated, talking so fast their words are not distinguishable.

You guessed it. The men rolled their eyes and looked at them with tolerance. Women's gossip. How could you ladies be so gullible? The Romans probably took Him somewhere else! You're mistaken. That's ridiculous.

It was Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and several other women who told the apostles what had happened. But the story sounded like nonsense to the men, so they didn’t believe it. (Luke 11:23-24, NLT)

Oh, God chooses to work in ways which amaze those who are wise. He moves despite the culture. He shines brightest in the impossible. He brings Easter hope to anyone who believes. It's the kind of faith that stares at the empty tomb and glimpses the power of resurrection. It's the belief that God does His greatest work in the dawn of despair. He is the God of broken paradoxes, the Christ of slashed incongruities, the Savior Who triumphs the implausible.

molding little soldiers

2009-03-26T09:51:00.005-04:00

"You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ." (2Ti 2:3 NKJV)

Whatever else God has gifted them to be, I want my children to be soldiers. Call me a doomsayer, but I have to acknowledge that the culture is getting progressively more anti-Christ (meaning its philosophies as displayed in art, music, politics, and behavior). This is the atmosphere for which I am training my, I mean God's, children (He's the Owner; I'm the steward).

I have no idea what the future holds. I absolutely loathe to contemplate it. I am very happy to stick my head in the comfortable sand and concentrate on the happy trivia of daily life. But that's not reality, and once in a while, I have to face it.

If God's timetable allows, my children will inhabit a society that continues to grow hostile toward the truth of Scripture. They will be told there are other ways to heaven, not just One Way. They will be bombarded with depraved behavior in the public square. They will face a growing deception among those in religious corners. They will have to stand up to overwhelming odds.

It's enough to make a parent start to panic. But the Father above has promised us that we can be "more than conquerors." He said He would never leave us, that His Spirit would always be with us to guide and teach us what is right. He said that we can have peace because He has overcome the world.

Those are the words I must teach my children. I must instill in them a trust in His character and love. I must read them the Scripture and pray with them and for them. I must catechize them in the principles of faith that apply to every generation and every culture. I must permeate their consciences with Truth so deception will never gain a hold. This is the training camp for making little soldiers.

I know I won't do a perfect job. I'm human and my efforts won't be adequate. That's the point where I ask the Father to take over, to bless my best, and to keep His hand over the little soldiers I am putting in His care.

"Therefore know that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments." (De 7:9 NKJV)

"But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting On those who fear Him, And His righteousness to children's children." (Ps 103:17 NKJV)

"The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him." ( Pr 20:7)

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." ( 3Jo 1:4)

2009-03-19T13:37:00.002-04:00

I have uploaded three new video clips of Narrow Way on their blog -- two are from the concert in Salem and one is, well, just go check it out. www.nwbluegrass.wordpress.com

Photos from the Schenectady, NY Convention

2009-03-13T13:23:00.001-04:00

assimilating life

2009-03-13T12:05:00.003-04:00

I read a lot. I write a lot. I'm an "under the surface" sort of temperament. I love to find out "why" things are a certain way, particularly as it relates to relationships with others and my walk with the Lord.

As I devour the insight of others who articulate their discoveries so well, I find myself trying to assimilate all I've ever read into my life. That's a daunting task. There are so many levels, layers to living. Processing all that information and keeping it in my perspective is not something I have found myself doing perfectly.

That's what I love to imagine about heaven. I'm also a "heaven thinking" sort of temperament because I believe it is a real place and I'm going to live there someday. I want to know about it, think about it, especially when the future on earth seems so riddled with confusion and fear. No, I don't delight in doom and gloom; I want to believe that the world will last 100 more years and I'll be looking through scrapbooks with my grandchildren (which will make all that saving of keepsakes seem more worthwhile!) But I know enough about the Bible and am cognizant enough about world events to know that they may not happen. So, keeping heaven real is my way of continuing to plan for the future.

Those books I want to write; maybe Heaven has authors; I believe giftedness is in the soul-we'll just trade earthly expression for heavenly ways. Why would God strip us of His image in us?

The family vacations we want to have; we'll just spend time together seeing some really new sights.

The things I enjoy--shopping, reading, photography, etc; I'll just exchange them for something better.

I know that whenever someone talks or writes about heaven, people start getting freaked out. Does she have a premonition? Why is she saying all this? Nope, haven't seen any visions. Don't want to.

I just look forward to all the great things heaven is going to be. Like, getting back to my opening statement, a new understanding of the great truths I try so hard to grasp here. Put all the eye-opening books, all the soul-enlightening sermons, all the "ahah" moments when someone communicated deeply with you together and you begin to see just a glimmer of what heaven will be like. The vast libraries of God's knowledge will be opened to us. We will see, understand, and finally assimilate. Now, that sounds like a fun eternity.

niagara falls

2009-03-01T15:14:00.004-05:00

Our family ministered at a Regional IHC in Schenectady, NY this past week. On the way home, Friday, we went to Niagara Falls. Duane and I had been there previously, but our kids had not. Now, winter isn't the most comfortable time of year to visit, but it was beautiful. When we crossed back over from Canada and stopped by the American Falls, it started snowing and we about froze standing there while gallons of icy water plunged by us. It was quite a sight.

bluegrass media

2009-02-23T12:33:00.002-05:00

Narrow Way has video and audio clips posted on their blog www.nwbluegrass.wordpress.com

love that mountain music

2009-02-14T17:27:00.002-05:00

My husband and three other guys (one is his brother) gave a concert at our church last night. It was a time of good music and fun. Check out their blog www.nwbluegrass.wordpress.com

eureka, epiphany, or whatever you want to call it

2009-02-09T20:26:00.004-05:00

Life is full of those "aha" moments. Sometimes it's a taste--the absolutely best ever cheesecake. Sometimes it's a family moment--a wedding, a reunion, an instant of uncanny bonding to another. Sometimes it's a realization -- that's what God has been trying to teach me, that's why my spouse reacts that way, that's why my child was frightened.

However that sweet revelation blossoms up in our consciousness, it brightens the moment like a fireworks display on a July evening. Just as we follow those summery tendrils of sparkle with our eyes, we watch the magic of a new awareness draw us closer to the ones we love, the life we live, and the God who made us in His image.

our love story

2009-02-04T12:25:00.003-05:00

what I'm thinking

2009-02-01T16:16:00.003-05:00

Everything about 21st century life is getting goldfish-bite-sized, even my blogging.

Rather than writing paragraphs, I'm into short bursts of personal journaling. Here are some things chasing around my mind lately:

Teens struggle with communicating with their parents, sometimes because they are absorbed in the adjustments and growth in independence they are experiencing. Am I God's teenager?
FaceBook has opened my world to unbelievable and real-time connection with multitudes of friends. Is Heaven the ultimate FaceBook, when we will be through with the dark glass and see face to face? All of God's children on the same "screen."
My husband used the phrase in his sermon -- "Calvary's clock was ticking" (don't you love it!) and I wondered "was there a rhythm to redemption, set in place from the eternal heart of God?"
God is into progress. The apostle Paul tells us to forget what's behind and reach out toward what is ahead. The happiest people do not live in the past. They are "forward reachers."
There is an energy in serving God. He even told us that He isn't the God of the dead but of the living, of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. The One Who created lightening, volcanoes, and earthquakes, and Who consumed the sacrifice on Mt. Carmel and raised Lazarus is definitely not laid back. What an awesome God.

no downsizing

2009-01-23T12:23:00.003-05:00

Economic downturns cannot force relationships out of business. I was reminded this morning that the most important thing in life is relationship--with God and with others.

Because of relationship, God created us. Because of relationship, God redeemed us. Because of relationship, He cherishes us. We are too precious to Him to be destroyed by sin or separated from His love.

Philippians 1:21 says "For me to live is Christ . . ." That's the bottom line. Life for the Christian is all wrapped up in a relationship with Jesus Christ who forgives our past and brightens our future.

Favorite stores may collapse, governmental policy may weaken, normalcy may totter, but relationship in Christ doesn't downsize. It keeps paying big dividends, now and always.

whole people

2009-01-21T11:16:00.003-05:00

I couldn't help but be mesmerized by the political drama playing out yesterday. I sat and stared at my computer screen watching the events of the inauguration play out.

As fascinating to me as the pomp and circumstance was the human underscore of the day. I was interested in the gift Mrs. Obama gave to Mrs. Bush (I found out it was a leather bound journal and pen inscribed with the date to begin her memoires that she is scheduled to write.) I watched the little Obama girls waltz down the walkway and wondered what was going through their little girl minds. I saw the Bushes and the Obamas pose on the White House steps and pondered what Mr. and Mrs. Bush were thinking as they served coffee for the last time. I even wondered about their last night in the White House -- their furniture was already gone -- where did they sleep? Surely not a pallet on the floor.

I wondered what it must feel like as the incoming president to walk out onto the balcony of the capitol building, view the panorama of the D.C. crowds and monuments, and know that you are the one responsible for all you see in front of you. I mused how George Bush felt at 12:00 when he was officially the former president, what it was like to climb in that chopper and pull away from it all. I hear that he blew a kiss to the White House from the limo, but that he and Mrs. Bush were excited about a different kind of schedule in Texas, soaking up the sun and family togetherness, no doubt.

But the thing that stuck with me yesterday was something a commentator said about former President Bush's transition to private life. He said he thought he would be active and happy, because he had been around their family and " . . . the Bushes are whole people."

I liked that. What a way to describe a person. Whole. I hope that someday others can say of me that I was whole, still human of course, but knowing where the sense of completeness comes from--the grace of God working in my life to spackle the dents and give me direction and purpose.

Well done, Mr. Bush, sir. I hope you enjoy your new life. May we all be the whole people America needs us to be.

winter days

2009-01-11T15:41:00.000-05:00

inventory

2009-01-05T22:26:00.003-05:00

It's 2009. I'm ready for a new year and all the fresh opportunities. At the same time it seems daunting because there are so many of them. Like a department store clearing out its inventory to make room for the new season's merchandise, I want to sweep through the layers of my life, forgetting what is behind and reaching out to what is ahead.

Before the crinkly wrapper comes all the way off the new year, I need to have my goals high and my attitude positive. I want to spend more time on relationships, put my heart into my gifts, and give more of myself to God. It's a big challenge, but we have a big God. Who knows what we can accomplish through His grace? There's only one way to discover the answer.

chaos, Christmas, & Christ

2008-12-24T12:18:00.003-05:00

I have been moaning the fact that my Christmas season has been so far from calm. A crammed schedule and unexpected events combined with all the shopping, baking, and wrapping have just not given me many quiet evenings watching the lights on my tree and sipping cocoa.

I'm kind-of a broken record now for those who have been around me lately, but I am rethinking this whole chaos thing. I think the first Christmas was nothing if not chaotic--unplanned births, sudden trips, shepherds in the delivery room . . . And despite our warm fuzzy songs about chestnuts roasting on the fire and watching the frightful weather while munching popcorn, I believe most Christmas seasons are still a little crazy. Why do we write those songs and dream up those placid images? It's what we want, what would be nice, but what rarely happens in the frantic pace of our world. We all talk about slowing down next year at this time, but come on, who's going to do it? Are we really going to stop participating in the church program or baking goodies for the neighbors? We can cut out a few things, but the busyness will remain.

So, if you are blessed with a quiet night somewhere in this season, relish it with me. But don't curse the chaos. Be blessed with the spirit of the season and be thankful for the Christ who brings us tidings of comfort and joy.

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

winter has charms

2008-12-14T15:29:00.008-05:00

Winter has charms that summer can't boast.
No sunny skies nor sandal shod feet
Not tart lemonade nor welcoming heat.

Winter has magic of sparkle and ice.
The skaters whirl and twirl on its pond.
The trees wear glitter fresh from its wand.

Winter has glamour and drama in white.
Snowmen guard streets with children at play.
Frost glows on windows at end of the day.

Winter has enchantment in chill and snow.
Crystal days, frozen nights, landscapes with icing,
Ne'er summer day has been so enticing.

--Valorie Quesenberry

light needed

2008-12-05T12:59:00.003-05:00

I realized something. Light makes all the difference. Before going to Tennessee for Thanksgiving with my family, I put up some of my Christmas decor. I didn't' have time to put up the tree, though, and so didn't get into the box with the strands of lights. My end tables, mantel, and shelves were lavish with Christmas glam, but there was something missing.

Last night, we finally got the tree up, and I started stringing lights onto the garland surrounding my other ornaments. And voile! There was holiday sparkle at last. What was just pretty baubles became beautiful vignettes when the lights were added.

It reminded me that Christ is the light that makes the holiday glow warm in our world. Without Him, the trinkets of the season are dull . With Him, this time of year shines brightly in our hearts and through us into a dark world.

The prophet said "The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light; they that dwelled in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined. (Isaiah 9:2)

That verse is for Christmas 2008 too.

Princess Pics

2008-11-25T09:46:00.001-05:00

Here are some fun portraits I had taken of my last little Princess -- Kaley.

first frost at the cabin

2008-11-24T08:51:00.005-05:00

I looked out at the pumpkin by my front door last week and saw it sprinkled with a wispy snow. It reminded me of this poem whose colorful language sounds so like the Appalachian region of East Tennessee. When we lived in Alabama, one of our favorite autumn events was "Homestead Hollow," a small, harvest festival held on an old country homestead. There were crafters' booths, a petting zoo, food vendors, and hot spiced cider. You could walk through the homestead grounds and there were people making soap, working with bees, and playing banjos and guitars. In the kitchen, there was all manner of dried fruits hanging from the rafters that had been prepared for the winter days. This poem "puts me in the mind" of a mountain family with their cabin full of summer's bounty gazing at the first drift of snow outside the window. Kind-of makes you want to sit in a pine rocker beside a rustic fireplace.

"When the Frost is on the Punkin"
(James Whitcomb Riley. 1853–1916)

When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock,
And you hear the kyouck and gobble of the struttin' turkey-cock,
And the clackin' of the guineys, and the cluckin' of the hens,
And the rooster's hallylooyer as he tiptoes on the fence;
O, it's then the time a feller is a-feelin' at his best,
With the risin' sun to greet him from a night of peaceful rest,
As he leaves the house, bareheaded, and goes out to feed the stock,
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock.

They's something kindo' harty-like about the atmusfere
When the heat of summer's over and the coolin' fall is here—
Of course we miss the flowers, and the blossoms on the trees,
And the mumble of the hummin'-birds and buzzin' of the bees;
But the air's so appetizin'; and the landscape through the haze
Of a crisp and sunny morning of the airly autumn days
Is a pictur' that no painter has the colorin' to mock—
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock.

The husky, rusty russel of the tossels of the corn,
And the raspin' of the tangled leaves as golden as the morn;
The stubble in the furries—kindo' lonesome-like, but still
A-preachin' sermuns to us of the barns they growed to fill;
The strawstack in the medder, and the reaper in the shed;
The hosses in their stalls below—the clover overhead!—
O, it sets my hart a-clickin' like the tickin' of a clock,
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock.

Then your apples all is gethered, and the ones a feller keeps
Is poured around the cellar-floor in red and yaller heaps;
And your cider-makin's over, and your wimmern-folks is through
With theyr mince and apple-butter, and theyr souse and sausage too!...
I don't know how to tell it—but ef such a thing could be
As the angels wantin' boardin', and they'd call around on me—
I'd want to 'commodate 'em—all the whole-indurin' flock—
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock.

rainy day

2008-11-15T14:52:00.007-05:00

" Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby."

Langston Hughes

"Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet."

Roger Miller

"Rain is grace; rain is the sky condescending to the earth; without rain, there would be no life." John Updike

I guess you have to be sentimental to enjoy a rainy day. There is something that speaks to the soul when gazing at the monochromatic tones of gray clouds and silver puddles. Watching the dripping beads outside the window inspires quiet tasks and reflective moods. Maybe we will pen a great poem, savor a beloved book, or bake a crock full of scones.

The folks in London and Seattle have learned to adapt and flourish in liquid weather. Maybe that's why these places turn out famous authors and aromatic coffee. They know the value of a rainy day is not in what you can't do, but in what you can.

the cub scout regatta

2008-11-12T14:03:00.003-05:00

Last night, Stewart competed in the Raingutter Regatta for his Cub Scout Pack. It was an exciting night. All the boys did so well. You could just feel their budding manhood in every puff of air they blew on the sails of their handbuilt boats. There were fathers standing around, giving advice, watching with pride, agonizing over tipsy sails and slow starts. I wasn't sure how Stewart would do, and I know that sometimes you learn more from losing than winning. What weird emotions motherhood creates in you -- you want them to succeed, but fear they'll not really understand life if they do!

But, whether he happened to get a good position or whatever, he puffed his way to 1st place. I was very proud of him. He competes Saturday in the regional race. He'll need a lot of wind in his sails for that one.

Practice puffing

(no hands allowed in the race)

Getting his trophy

the winner and his stuff

1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winners.

birthdays & bears

2008-11-12T13:43:00.004-05:00

Autumn and Kaley have birthdays 2 days apart. We celebrated them separately this year, but they each wanted something from Build-a-Bear. So, they used Grammie's birthday money and had a fun time selecting a bear and clothes to go with it. How wonderful to watch a child cuddle a teddy bear and see the simple joy in her eyes.

Happy Birthday, Autumn

Paying for the bears.

Does this look good?

Choosing the right outfit.

Happy Birthday, Kaley

it was way cool

2008-11-09T15:26:00.004-05:00

I returned last night from an awesome two days at the Indianapolis Christian Writers Conference. The sessions were packed with information -- I learned a lot that I can't wait to use. I saw several friends there and met some new ones. Thanks WPH for putting together a fantastic conference.

On the way home, I drove through Anderson and then the little town of Alexandria, only a few miles from where we pastored in Summitville 5 years ago. I stopped at Gaither Family Resources on Route 9 and bought the newest DVD from Signature Sound and got a free CD -- GVB new Christmas CD! Can't wait to hear it.

What a great weekend -- new information, friends, deja vu, and some cool stuff to come home with.

a post-script

2008-11-05T00:10:00.002-05:00

" . . .the Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone he wishes." (Daniel 4:31)

"He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning."
(Daniel 2:20)

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." (Proverbs 19:21)

"There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD." (Proverbs 21:30)

" The earth is the LORD's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it." (Psalm 24:1)

makeover nation

2008-11-03T20:06:00.003-05:00

In a nation that reveres the new and hot, it is hardly surprising that the buzzword of the election cycle is change. We are the culture that lauds whatever is the most interesting thing out of the gate, as it were.

Our technology and desire for excellence have created this super-hunger for the most appealing. We care about the packaging. We are driven to the brightest colors, the cutest design, the highest rating.

We want glamour and poise on the screen -- give us news anchors and talk show hosts that have charisma and good looks. We're tired of the old wallpaper in the living room -- call in the extreme home team and give us a new look. The cell phone is "so yesterday" -- give us the latest Iphone or Blackberry. We deserve the latest; the worst thing that can be said about us is that we're "lost in the '90's." Horrors! America detests what is dated and adores what is hot.

The fascination we have with media glitz and makeover hype has carried over now into our electorate. When it comes to our leaders -- give us something different, something smooth, something that makes us feel like the new latte at Starbucks or the new fashions on 5th Avenue -- advanced and tight. We are willing to give character a pass if the bubble wrap is cool.

When America casts its vote tomorrow, I hope we get over the "thing" we have with new and hot, and go for what our gut says -- tried and tested is good if it represents what is right and honorable. Lots of "new" things fail on the market, but the values that made America great are always in good taste.

mental clutter

2008-11-02T14:22:00.003-05:00

Life is not flat. It has a shape and texture.

The texture of our days begins in the mind. The mind is life's repository where the files of our days are stored. When all is in order, the files run smoothly. But trust life to get hectic, the car to break down, the money to run low, the schedule to get crowded - and the mind goes into emergency mode.

Sometimes it can resemble a back alley. You've seen those plots behind city restaurants where the cook's assistants discard the cardboard containers. Boxes piled upon each other in no certain order, just a jumble of this and that, needing to be disposed of.

At other times, the mind can be like a shipping warehouse, full of good things, waiting to be opened up and used. The plain brown of the package conceals the potential that's stacking up, needing an outlet.

The mind stores appointments, to-do lists, holiday plans, relationship needs, church obligations, and family calendars. These boxes of this and that stack up, creating chaos and pushing out peace.

Sometimes I need a forklift; sometimes a pair of box cutters. Sooner or later, I start ripping into boxes and try to bring some order to this clutter of mental data.

Time to move this stuff out -- another load is coming.

just a thought . . .

2008-10-31T14:27:00.004-04:00

What if it had been discovered that George Washington had toasted a British General and endorsed a book written by a well-known Tory?

What about those who pledged their "fortunes" as well as their "lives and sacred honor" to establish a nation based on capitalism and free trade?

What about a belief in the principles of America so deep that a young schoolteacher would face the noose and say "I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country?"

Our founding fathers did their job; let's do ours -- vote . . . and pray.

my life last week

2008-10-20T18:04:00.002-04:00

We just finished a revival with the Durkee family from Penns Creek, PA. It was a week of fantastic singing and searching preaching. Our church enjoyed this family immensely. And we enjoyed keeping them in our home. That's pretty much what I've been up to. On Saturday, Michelle Durkee and I attended a local craft show and I posted pictures on my decorating blog at www.simpleandlovely.blogspot.com I have some writing in the works and am working on the next issue of The Ladies' Companion as well as trying to keep up with what's happening politically -- talk about a circus (and a concern.) And so life continues . . . and God's grace goes before and makes a way.

Some recent snapshot moments of my kiddos

2008-10-20T17:58:00.002-04:00

Stewart joined Cub Scouts this fall.
Kaley posing at the entrance of a church where we held services.
Ashley and Autumn at our family outing on Labor Day.

coming soon . . .

2008-10-17T17:46:00.002-04:00

Yes, life has continued. I am not stuck in Pittsburgh following my anniversary trip. I will update soon. We are in revival services at our church this week and my schedule has been altered because of that.

It's been 19 years . .

2008-10-05T15:37:00.003-04:00

. . since that gorgeous October day when Duane and I pledged to love each other until death. We celebrate our anniversary this week and had a fantastic get-away last weekend to Pittsburgh, just a short distance from our home. Thanks to an unbelievable deal on Priceline and the kindness of friends who watched our kids overnight, we had a delicious dinner (with a fried zucchini appetizer -- yum!) and a whirlwind trip to the big city. The Renaissance is in the cultural section of Pittsburgh and was quite glitzy. I loved every minute. We strolled around the streets, mingling with the throngs coming out of Heinz Hall and the performing arts theater. We had cheesecake and coffee in the hotel cafe -- Opus. After a late breakfast at Cracker Barrel, we returned to ministry and the children that make our home complete. Memories are made of this.

The gorgeous rotunda in the lobby -- the Gilded Age lives.
our room
Duane carrying our bags
the view from our room
the Renaissance