God uses my kids to teach me. And sometimes He uses my relationship with Him to teach me how to be a better mom.
I feel a compulsion to encourage and propel my kids to the top. I don't want them just to do something, I want them to do it well . . . like, better than anyone. You know? Not just good grades - all As. Not just play the piano -- challenge Beethoven. Not just make the team - score the most.
I suppose it's noble to encourage a child to do his or her best. There is certainly something character building about pulling out all the stops and pushing through to the top. But there is also something to be said for enjoying the richness of life apart from goals and success.
As a firstborn, I never can see myself relaxing all of my expectations of myself or my children. Nor do I want to. But God, the heavenly Parent, is reminding me of how He works. While He expects me to grow and bloom in my spiritual walk and personal gifts, He also enjoys just observing my delight in living life like He planned as I am in relationship with Him. He receives the greatest pleasure from knowing I'm His child. He is happy when I am simply using my gifts and "abiding" in Him. I don't have to prove anything, outdo anyone else or set a record. After all, competition - against others or self - is a human invention. Sure, it's great to beat one's personal best (and I like a good contest!). But for perfectionists like me, the "better than" trap is always open and waiting.
Maybe moms need to lose a little of the panic. Maybe this mom justs need to relish my children's involvement and encourage more enjoyment in their activities. Maybe it's okay if they don't make it to Beethoven's level of virtuosity. Maybe they can live fulfilled and successful lives without being first in everything. Maybe they would even be happier.
God expects us to live out fully the dimensions of His plan for each of us, but He does not push us to exceed it. I should follow that pattern in my goals for my children. Of course, it's a little harder for moms to know what are reasonable expectations because we can't see things from the perspective He has. Yet, I think we do know somewhere deep inside that a mom's greatest joy comes from her children just being - in relationship with her and in harmony with their abilities - than in doing. After all, lives of incessant action can be eerily similar to windmills - continually beating a force against which they can never win. I suppose the energy invested in life should be equal in measure to the joy that comes from relishing the simple pleasures readily accessible everyday, regardless of achievement or status. And the continal "doing" of Christian service should be balanced with the "being" that comes from lingering in His presence.
Only in the context of "being" does "doing" have significance. That's something I need to comtemplate a little more, both as a mom and as His child.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
always on our minds
It's truly amazing how many "news" stories are simply descriptions of the clothes popular women are wearing - either their fashion successes or malfunctions thereof. Far be it from me to decry a woman's enjoyment of a pretty dress or the innate desire to look beautiful, but I think today's headlines tell us there may be a problem. Everything is not all right in Camelot.
Many online news networks have a fashion channel that keeps American women updated on who looked good, who didn't and how we can avoid their diastrous results. I admit to checking into the stories sometimes. I mean, some of them are really kind of funny, and sometimes, I'm just plain curious.
I guess we need to realize that what women wear always makes the news. It's a barometer of the culture's definition of femininity. You can usually tell a lot about a society's moral code by the way the women dress. (think people in primitive cultures who start wearing clothes when they come to faith.)
Our society defines womanhood in terms of sex appeal. The clothing trends confirm it. The difference in men's and women's casual attire is often only the cut of the pattern - with the women's clothing contoured or exposed to reveal female curves.
I suppose humankind has always been fascinated with the way women are dressing or undressing. God created women to be worth looking at and men with eyes that recognize that fact. But womanhood is much more complex and beautiful than outward characteristics. It is a sacred gift from God, just as manhood. It is a code stamped upon the soul; the body is only the reflection of what's inside. It should be respected by both genders. And that's something we can affirm on a daily basis - by both those doing the dressing and those doing the looking.
Many online news networks have a fashion channel that keeps American women updated on who looked good, who didn't and how we can avoid their diastrous results. I admit to checking into the stories sometimes. I mean, some of them are really kind of funny, and sometimes, I'm just plain curious.
I guess we need to realize that what women wear always makes the news. It's a barometer of the culture's definition of femininity. You can usually tell a lot about a society's moral code by the way the women dress. (think people in primitive cultures who start wearing clothes when they come to faith.)
Our society defines womanhood in terms of sex appeal. The clothing trends confirm it. The difference in men's and women's casual attire is often only the cut of the pattern - with the women's clothing contoured or exposed to reveal female curves.
I suppose humankind has always been fascinated with the way women are dressing or undressing. God created women to be worth looking at and men with eyes that recognize that fact. But womanhood is much more complex and beautiful than outward characteristics. It is a sacred gift from God, just as manhood. It is a code stamped upon the soul; the body is only the reflection of what's inside. It should be respected by both genders. And that's something we can affirm on a daily basis - by both those doing the dressing and those doing the looking.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
the next step . . .
On June 3, our family moved to a new ministry location. We were assured that this was God's will - the next step in our journey as a pastoral family and and as a ministry couple. We are now unpacked and feeling settled.
Throughout our lives together, my husband and I have desired to have authentic, Christ-centered ministry and to raise our children in an environment that will help them reach their full potential both in their areas of giftedness and in their own spiritual walk. It has been amazing to see how God has come alongside us in this task. At every church, He has taught us lessons vital to our relationship with Him and others. Each year has been another opportunity to love Him more and understand more about the people whom we serve. And in every place we have lived, there have been those who have contributed to us as a family and to the continued growth of our children. There are so many dear folks who are almost "family" to the Quesenberrys. You have loved us, had us over for dinner or snacks, prayed for us and taken us into your own families. You loved our children and encouraged them through your friendship and little gifts. For all of this, we are deeply grateful - God blessed us through you.
In this next step, we sense God's ongoing presence and leadership. It is exciting to imagine what He is going to do. In our ministry, we have the chance to experience a new and different type of challenge -- planting and watering a new church group and expecting His increase. In our family, we have the opportunity to see God supply unique needs in our present situation. In my own writing, I can watch God use a new season to challenge me and provide new perspective for the projects He brings to me.
The next step is always shown when it's needed. And I'm glad that the Scripture reassures us in this verse.
" The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD, And He delights in his way." (Psalm 37:23 NKJV) I'm positive that means the steps of a good "woman" too! (and probably a pastoral family :)
Throughout our lives together, my husband and I have desired to have authentic, Christ-centered ministry and to raise our children in an environment that will help them reach their full potential both in their areas of giftedness and in their own spiritual walk. It has been amazing to see how God has come alongside us in this task. At every church, He has taught us lessons vital to our relationship with Him and others. Each year has been another opportunity to love Him more and understand more about the people whom we serve. And in every place we have lived, there have been those who have contributed to us as a family and to the continued growth of our children. There are so many dear folks who are almost "family" to the Quesenberrys. You have loved us, had us over for dinner or snacks, prayed for us and taken us into your own families. You loved our children and encouraged them through your friendship and little gifts. For all of this, we are deeply grateful - God blessed us through you.
In this next step, we sense God's ongoing presence and leadership. It is exciting to imagine what He is going to do. In our ministry, we have the chance to experience a new and different type of challenge -- planting and watering a new church group and expecting His increase. In our family, we have the opportunity to see God supply unique needs in our present situation. In my own writing, I can watch God use a new season to challenge me and provide new perspective for the projects He brings to me.
The next step is always shown when it's needed. And I'm glad that the Scripture reassures us in this verse.
" The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD, And He delights in his way." (Psalm 37:23 NKJV) I'm positive that means the steps of a good "woman" too! (and probably a pastoral family :)
Sunday, July 4, 2010
of independence and free will
Today is my country's 234th birthday. I am proudly American. To me, there is no more beautiful trio of colors than the red, white, and blue. I like parades and fireworks and a contemplative walk through a military cemetery. I get chills when I hear a veteran recall his adventures. I feel goosebumps when the flag is raised.
Some people would call me arrogant because I have this deep loyalty to my nation. They dislike Aermican's prosperity and prominence. They call her citizens arrogant. They think we sit high atop our greatness and care not for others less fortunate. They are wrong.
The great thing about America is that she still stands for "liberty and justice for all." That is why we love our nation. She does not clench us in beaurocracy; she does not stifle our creativity; she does not limit our opportunities; she does not regulate our families; she does not prohit our worship. America was founded
on the belief that each individual has been bestowed by God with a choice and should have the freedom under Him to use that choice. She offers that blessing to any and all who would come to her shores and become one of her children. And for the many who do not live on her coast, she still offers aid when they are battered -- food and water and military assistance to the needy and oppressed.
Yet, those who claim her as their own know that personal liberty is what makes her great. And it is because of the origin of that liberty. Free will is the gift of God that He will not withdraw. In that way, we bear His image. No other creature in the cosmos can choose--animals are directed by instinct; planets are guided by celestial forces; angels were made to serve. But the human family has the freedom to choose and the understanding to make that possible.
Being American does not give me special standing with God; He ranks no person higher than another. But being American does give me the opportunity and the liberty to publicly and proudly serve Him and invite others to do the same. Being American lets me study truth and share it without fear; it gives me the chance to raise my children as I see best and pray anytime and anywhere.
In actuality, I know that I am a citizen of heaven and only have temporary status on earth. But when I count my blessings, I will thank my Father for the privilege of residing (even for a while) in "the land of the free and the home of the brave." God bless America -- "from sea to shining sea."
Some people would call me arrogant because I have this deep loyalty to my nation. They dislike Aermican's prosperity and prominence. They call her citizens arrogant. They think we sit high atop our greatness and care not for others less fortunate. They are wrong.
The great thing about America is that she still stands for "liberty and justice for all." That is why we love our nation. She does not clench us in beaurocracy; she does not stifle our creativity; she does not limit our opportunities; she does not regulate our families; she does not prohit our worship. America was founded
on the belief that each individual has been bestowed by God with a choice and should have the freedom under Him to use that choice. She offers that blessing to any and all who would come to her shores and become one of her children. And for the many who do not live on her coast, she still offers aid when they are battered -- food and water and military assistance to the needy and oppressed.
Yet, those who claim her as their own know that personal liberty is what makes her great. And it is because of the origin of that liberty. Free will is the gift of God that He will not withdraw. In that way, we bear His image. No other creature in the cosmos can choose--animals are directed by instinct; planets are guided by celestial forces; angels were made to serve. But the human family has the freedom to choose and the understanding to make that possible.
Being American does not give me special standing with God; He ranks no person higher than another. But being American does give me the opportunity and the liberty to publicly and proudly serve Him and invite others to do the same. Being American lets me study truth and share it without fear; it gives me the chance to raise my children as I see best and pray anytime and anywhere.
In actuality, I know that I am a citizen of heaven and only have temporary status on earth. But when I count my blessings, I will thank my Father for the privilege of residing (even for a while) in "the land of the free and the home of the brave." God bless America -- "from sea to shining sea."
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
lovin' truth
As a woman and a writer, I am in love with truth.
It's the foundation of everything good. And always has been.
Satan figured out rather quickly that the human woman was susceptible to words, and the human man was susceptible to images. Cunningly, he used the verbal sensitivity God gave the woman against her. "Has God indeed said, 'You shall not eat of every tree of the garden?'" (Gen. 3:1) And, then, he used her beautiful image against her husband. "She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate." (Gen. 3:6) It worked. And every woman since has had to fight his verbal lies. And every man since has had to fight his visual lies.
Women today are assaulted with messages about beauty, worth, and relationships which are engineered by Satan for their destruction. The words are smooth and seductive, but they are only there to disguise the hiss of the serpent. In his heart, he plots and dreams of shattered emotions and charred relationships.
God is pure, glorious, welcoming truth. He offers freedom and abundant life to those who embrace His truth. His voice is safe, loving, and faithful. His plan is always for the good, always full of promise, always warm with hope.
Women today can choose to whom they will listen. And it is a decision we will make every day of our lives. When we center our lives, both the mundane and the momentous, on God's Word, this faith journey begins to make sense. The confusing and painful times will not cause us to fall away because we know that there are solid, immutable things which never change. We will be women with a purpose. We will be able to discern the slant of the culture. We will reflect the beauty of the One who created us and delights to call us His daughters. We will be free.
"And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." (John 8:32)
It's the foundation of everything good. And always has been.
Satan figured out rather quickly that the human woman was susceptible to words, and the human man was susceptible to images. Cunningly, he used the verbal sensitivity God gave the woman against her. "Has God indeed said, 'You shall not eat of every tree of the garden?'" (Gen. 3:1) And, then, he used her beautiful image against her husband. "She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate." (Gen. 3:6) It worked. And every woman since has had to fight his verbal lies. And every man since has had to fight his visual lies.
Women today are assaulted with messages about beauty, worth, and relationships which are engineered by Satan for their destruction. The words are smooth and seductive, but they are only there to disguise the hiss of the serpent. In his heart, he plots and dreams of shattered emotions and charred relationships.
God is pure, glorious, welcoming truth. He offers freedom and abundant life to those who embrace His truth. His voice is safe, loving, and faithful. His plan is always for the good, always full of promise, always warm with hope.
Women today can choose to whom they will listen. And it is a decision we will make every day of our lives. When we center our lives, both the mundane and the momentous, on God's Word, this faith journey begins to make sense. The confusing and painful times will not cause us to fall away because we know that there are solid, immutable things which never change. We will be women with a purpose. We will be able to discern the slant of the culture. We will reflect the beauty of the One who created us and delights to call us His daughters. We will be free.
"And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." (John 8:32)
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