the security of one's place

The former president is confused. Jimmy Carter announced that he is separating from the Southern Baptist denomianation because of their policies regarding women which he interprets as making them subservient and subject to the various often brutal whims of men.

I must disagree. First, in my years attending a Baptist dayschool and visiting various functions they sponsored, I never saw women treated with anything but respect. In fact, it seemed they had a singular understanding of the specialness of women because they had a distinct and honored place.

Second, I must disagree with him because as I understand the Southern Baptist position, it is based in the Bible. And the God who is holy and love and who created women as the glorious reflection of His own beauty would never condone nor command their mistreatment.

Third, I disagree with him because I feel that sometimes the talk about rights is an easy way to camoflauge the self-centered desire to have no restictions, no fences, "no one above me telling me what to do." If we are talking about equality because of color, social level, age, physical/mental condition, or gender, I say remember we all bear the image of our Creator and have the same privileges to life and liberty. But, when we take that to the point of using it as a battering ram against the creative order, it is wrong.

See, each gender has a place. And when we find that place, we find we fit it perfectly and are content and happy. I would suggest the writings of Elisabeth Elliott to shed further insight on this topic; she says it so well. One place is not higher nor better than the other, it is only different. It is no more wrong for a woman to be fitted for certain roles than it is for the man to be inadequate in others. But the very feminists who are gleeful to point out the inefficiencies of men cannot bring themselves to admit that there are some things for which they are better suited than others.

Of course, one must subscribe to the theory that men and women are different and unique to believe it. And this flies in the face of the blending of the genders which has been subtly tilting the culture for decades.

Women are different from men, gloriously so. Because of this, they are not supposed to bear the same burdens that men do. They were not made for it. Does that mean they are inferior? No more inferior than is silk to denim. Each is good, but suited for different applications.

Knowing one's place gives security to life. It makes life sane and enjoyable and peaceful. This means that men must recognize the worth of women and not abuse them and that women must understand the value of male leadership and its role in society. I write about this in my book titled Reflecting Beauty, coming soon from Wesleyan Publishing House. I feel it is such an important topic because so much of the culture hinges on our interpretations of femininity and masculinity and how they relate to one another and to God.

Balking against the Creator's design is the heart of self-will. And it always leads to confusion and discontentment. God's plan is for both genders to show mutual respect for the other and for the strength of the man to complement the beauty of the woman. It is a perfect design. And that's why the former president doesn't have a good argument. He's trying to rewrite the Creator's guide to life. It doesn't work.

the challenges of change

In the past couple months, I have compared my journey to two vastly different people--Abraham and Alice (in Wonderland, that is).

Now, I know that's quite a comparison. So, here's why I say that.

Sometimes, life brings change so unexpectedly that it does feel like following a white rabbit down a hole and waking up in Wonderland, "where nothing is as it seems." The mind scrambles to keep up with the feet. Like Alice, the experience gets "curiouser and curiouser" as we look for the way back to normalcy.

On the other hand, in the abrupt movings of our lives, we can trace the hand of God and listening closely, we can hear His voice calling to us to have faith and follow Him step by step. Like Abraham, we rouse the camels and start out, assured that God is guiding the trip.

As my family transitions (what a nice word for a lot of packing!) into a new ministry location, I feel all those accompanying emotions that come with a move. A pastor's home is a fluid thing--it is subject to change. We leave part of ourselves here and begin to affix another part of ourselves there. To pastor is to leave your heart scattered across the country. And God rewards you with multitudes of friends.

As Paul admonished young Timothy, through all the changes of life, we must "continue in the things we have been assured of." The unchangeables are the realities in this world. I want my life to be fastened to the rock solid strength of Jesus. He gives "strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow." His faithfulness is great. (and with that, I've got more packing to do!)

life for me

Summer is here in all its glory and I am relishing the sunny days and relaxed schedule. Well, relaxed may not be the right word, but at least my children and I are enjoying a break from the homework and lesson routine, not to mention a later bedtime.

Actually, while some activities have ceased, others have taken their place. Our family is making a move soon and so we have been swamped with sorting and packing. Our house resembles a shipping firm--boxes everywhere. We unloaded some of our loot on our friends and neighbors last week in a yard sale (hey, not all of it was worthless!) And some of it has been relegated to the dump. The rest we are trying to jam into boxes from the hospital, from the grocery store, etc. (thanks to all who are contributing to the Quesenberry Cardboard Drive!) Needless to say, we've been busy. More details on our new location coming later.

Next week is the Heartland Bible Methodist Camp and our family will be occupying our cute little cabin on the grounds. It has been so nice to have our own digs to relax in during camp. And this year, my brother Jim and his wife Audrey and their girls will be visiting our camp for a few days and I am looking forward to spending time with him. Family is so important and I don't get to see mine nearly enough! My kids love camp and are already talking about it -- it's worth all the grimy clothes and inconvenience to give them a connection to friends and an encounter with God. You can't go wrong with a combination like that.

I'm still doing some writing, although it has had to take a backseat right now with all the other things going on. My editor at Wesleyan Publishing is perfecting my manuscript and I'm anxious to see the finished product. I have a couple other book ideas -- a nonfiction and a fiction. Maybe when life settles down, I'll get more done on those. When I read how much time other authors spend tapping the keyboard, I'm discouraged. But God has given me other gifts as well -- my husband, my children, and our ministry together. So, each thing must fit its own niche. He makes all things beautiful in His time, not mine.

By the way, I was privileged to write an endorsement for the Indianapolis Christian Writers Conference. If you're interested, check out www.wesleyan.org/writers.

blog revamp

Life is sometimes too complicated . . . . . .so, I'm taking action.

I have removed my decorating blog and opened my pastor's wives blog to general readers (yes, I know there will be non-pastor's wives reading it, but perhaps it will reach more people this way and it will give our sisters in faith a glimpse into what it's really like living in the parsonage!) If you are a pastor's wife, I especially invite you to take a look: http://www.thepastorswifeconnection.blogspot.com/

I am revamping my writing blog at http://www.valorieq.wordpress.com/ as well.

I will keep open the TLC blog as it is a way to keep a web presence for the magazine. http://www.theladiescompanion.blogspot.com/

When life gets to disproportionate, something has to go. Reminds me of those lava lamps from the '70's. Remember how those huge green blobs would form and just when it looked ridiculously shaped, part of it would break off and bob away? Consider that a visual for my blogging journey--the "blob" is too big--time to break off in manageable portions!

Keep checking this blog for all things VQ -- thoughts, pics, decorating, writing, etc., (but no lava lamps!)

Come to Me, Summer

Come to me, summer, with rays of white gold
the warmth of the sun caressing my skin
the long hours of twilight extending my day.

Come to me, summer, with shades blue and green
like waves of the shore 'neath sparkling white sand,
like stripes on the chair by the barbecue grill.

Come to me, summer, with hours of cool treats,
the cold velvet of ice cream churned on the porch,
the tartness of lemonade at the family picnic.

Come to me, summer, with nature's parade,
blackberries picked with delighted young hands,
the fantasia of fireflies on a sweet night in June.

Come to me, summer, with sounds my ears know,
the symphony of crickets by the front porch swing,
the boom of the fireworks on the 4th of July.

Come to me, summer, with happiness and home,
fresh garden goodness gracing the table,
sweet memories made on a family vacation.

Come to me, summer, with days dipped in light,
with barefoot afternoons and watermelon evenings.
The curtain is rising; your moment has come.

Come to me, summer, I can hear the applause.

--Valorie Quesenberry