attractive or attracting?

In the fairytales, they don't even have to try.  The maidens are fair without even giving it a thought.  Though they work from dawn to dusk (Cinderella) and sleep in the forest (Snow White) and spend days in a secluded tower (Rapunzel), they charm the Prince with innate grace and beauty. 

Real life is a little more complicated.  In our culture, women are expected to work at being charming.  Well, seductive is the word that is really meant, I suppose.  In their clothing, in their manner, in their words, women are expected not only to be attractive, but to be alluring in a sensual way.

Is there a difference between being attractive and being seductive?  Is one the natural by-product of the other?  If so, what is a Christian woman to do?  Determine to be unattractive in the pursuit of being holy?  

Or is there a definite look and manner that define a sensual motive?  Is there a decided line that divides the merely beautiful from the certainly sensual?  Are women in our culture aware of that?  Do they exploit it?  Is there a difference between being "attractive and being "attracting?"

For women of faith, there has always been this conundrum:  is it possible to be beautiful and godly?  What does that mean for our marriages?  How about our daughters?  Does it affect our friendships?

What do you think?  My opinion and the things I discovered in the Bible are in the book Reflecting Beauty: Embracing the Creator's Design.  God has some wonderful things to say to His daughters who were made to reflect His beauty--things that will challenge and convict and also delight and affirm.  His design is good and His ways are right.  It is a fascinating topic, and I'm still learning.