Do you like stories of romance? If you're a woman, the answer is probably yes.
Guess what? God's answer would be yes too. He invented romance and uses it to picture His pursuit of humanity as He woos them back into relationship with Him.
He invented weddings too.
And nobody does weddings better than Orthodox Jews.
Compared to them, the traditional American nuptials are paltry in symbolism and certainly weak in enthusiasm. Now, my own wedding day memories are very special, as I hope yours are to you, but there's a tiny little part of me that wishes I had been Jewish! Talk about deep meaning and hidden beauty - that's what it's all about.
The Orthodox Jewish wedding juxtaposes the sacred solemnity of the ceremony with the joyful hilarity of the following reception. Those in attendance experience the whole range of emotion - it's a day that stands out in the memory of everyone there.
There is far too much involved to explain in great depth in this post, but here are a few details:
In contrast with modern weddings, the bride and groom are the centerpiece of everything. It's not just a time for friends and family to show up in their finery and laugh and visit. Every activity is focused on the bridal couple and their happiness.
Marriage, in the Jewish mind, is something to revere and celebrate, not primarily for sensual reasons, but because it is what man and woman were made for. An announcement of marriage is worthy of great joy. (In a deeper sense, of course, it is to be celebrated because it represents God's covenant with His people and Christ's relationship with His bride, the church.)
The ceremony is filled with great symbolism - both for the couple and for Scripture. The bride and groom are attended by both parents down the aisle; mother and father are very important as they give permission for their children to be joined together in marriage. The groom wears a long white coat (with his tux or suit) - it was the traditional garb for ancient feast days and is called the kittal (from the root word "to slay" - wow, there is deap meaning here from the first chapters of Genesis). The bride is veiled by the groom with a heavy cloth (the badekin) - to remember Leah who wore a veil when she married Jacob and to symbolize the husband's role of protection. The couple is married under a canopy (Chuppah) - to sybolize the covering of the heavens and God's covering of covenant with His people. The bride circles the groom seven times - to symbolize the days in which God created the world and the fact that this couple is creating a new home. At the end of the ceremony, the groom steps on and breaks a glass contained in a cloth bag - this symbolizes the destruction of Jersualem and the fragility of life (even in moments of great joy, Jews never forget the destruction of the temple).
The estactic dancing following the ceremony is almost childlike in its jubilant expression - on the men's side and the women's side, guests twirl and skip, laugh and sing. The groom and his friends often perform incredible feats - special dances, juggling, wild leaps, etc. It's not only an adrenalin rush, but also a chance for the groom to show off a little for his bride.
To the American mind, this form of celebration seems a bit awkward and even silly. Most of us would not think of behaving in such a way in public. But the Orthodox Jews are able to give in to their joy in the most basic of all modes of expression - laughing and jumping. Its what each of us does in some unguarded moment when a long-held dream comes true (recall images you've seen of lottery winners whose number has been called!) And it is a shadow of the kind of joy that will be ours in heaven someday. All of heaven will be an endless wedding celebration. It will be happiness and feasting and celebration forever.
The Orthodox Jewish wedding celebration combines the wonder of human romance with the awesome holiness of God. The Creator created this relationship to symbolize His deep love and commitment to us. Jesus, the very Son of God, attended a wedding in Galilee and was no doubt, part of the great joy on that occasion. The things He taught and the things He did often had great signifiance in relation to the Jewish understanding of betrothal and marriage. Even the Last Supper and His death on the cross have deep meaning for us as the Bride of Christ.
I have been captivated by the theme of romance, not only as a woman, but as a Christian. What I've discovered in my study has made me see my relationship with Christ in a whole new way. I am so excited about the new study book, Redeeming Romance: Delighting in God's Love. It is a message that I cannot get away from. It thrills my heart with its powerful beauty and makes me anticipate heaven more. After all, every bride looks forward to her wedding day.
(Look for the new study Redeeming Romance:Delighting in God's Love, available at Dayton IHC and for pre-order from http://www.wphonline.com/)
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
male or female or both?
I've just read an incredible news story. Incredible because of the lies it contains.
If you have a jaundiced view of journalism, you may think most news stories contain lies. But this one was not a lie of the political or interpretive kind. It was a lie from Satan.
The article told the story of a woman in Australia who was granted identification papers saying her gender was not specified. In other words, she is legally not male or female. Those papers have since been revoked, but she is fighting to get them certified again. The story explains that "she" was born a normal boy, but didn't "feel" male so, as a young adult, he had surgery to make him female. Then one day, realizing that many of her feminine traits were coming from the hormone pills she was taking, she felt that was fake too. So, now "she-he" has embraced this new nothing kind of gender. She wonders why she has to be male or female: why can't she just be human? She even goes barefoot now because she feels shoes are too gender indicating. She says she is both male and female.
The article also quotes a gender specialist who says many ancient cultures had a third gender, and it was only in the 20th century that male and female norms were set. That may be true, but former cultures also practiced human sacrifice and other horrors. Precedence doesn't justify repeating all behaviors. He further states that it is common for a person who has had a sex change to begin questioning their gender again after the surgery. He gets close to the truth when he says that gender is not merely wrapped up in the physical apparatus; it is now believed to be rooted in the brain.
But the whole truth is that gender is God-given and is inprinted on the soul. God created humans in His own image - male and female. He chose two complimentary sexes to represent Him; each images Him in different ways. To ignore either denies His design. To swap one for another insults His plan for each life.
But having a "one is the same as the other" approach is becoming fashionable in our culture. Take Lady Gaga, a young woman whose music and video "art" is openly and proudly lewd. She says she loves "androgyny" and admits to encounters with both men and women. It has become the new rage - experimenting with one's gender as though it were a dessert one can have as either chocolate or vanilla or swirled.
Our Creator lovingly portayed Himself in the genders - each is valuable and significant. The gifts of each are necessary for the appropriate function of the earth and the family. Who one is really will not change, no matter what is done to the outside. In my opinion, it is the direct work of the Enemy to cause men and women to question their gender. It is an attack he has used with great success and it strikes at the very heart of God's creative work.
Once a person questions who he or she "is," everything else is also suspect. If I cannot believe something about myself as basic as my sexuality, what else might be subject to question? In the 20th century, contrary to the specialist's belief, gender was not solidified as much as it was questioned. Beginning with the Roaring Twenties, assaults against traditional feminine and masculine roles saturated the culture. So it is not surprising that the current issue is whether gender really matters at all. It is the natural result of the gender debate.
Elisabeth Elliot, one of my favorite authors, writes about the "mystery" of God-given gender and their relation to each other. In her book, The Mark of a Man, (written for her nephew, Peter) she says about gender difference:
The distinction was God's. We wouldn't have thought of it. Imagine a sexless world. If you're looking for Dullsville, that would be it, wouldn't it? We've had enough hints of what it would be like in the unisex world of blue jeans. When men and women accept the sexual difference and enjoy it, they put color and design and variety into life. When they begin to deny it or to feel that it should somehow be blurred, they take all the color out (except for denim blue - and they are careful to take even some of that out, with Clorox, before the color is acceptable!)
It's hard to tell the men from the women at a college weekend retreat: the down-filled vests, the turtlenecks, the jeans, the waffle-stompers, the hair hanging in the eyes, the backpacks.
"Oh, wow!" some of them would say, "She doesn't like us!"
Alas. Another distinction gone by the board. You are smart enough to see, Pete, that I'm not condemning. I'm describing. And if the description fits, kids squirm. I'm only holding up a mirror, saying, "Look at yourselves! What do you see?" If it's monchromatic, it illustrates my point: To equalize is to deprive of glory. (Fleming H. Revell, 1981, pg. 32)
While I'm not condemning denim or turtlenecks or backpacks, etc.(and I don't think she is either), I believe Mrs. Elliot is onto something here. The genders bring color and glory to the world. Making them the same or erasing their importance will plunge any society into a grey world where even the basic things of life are topsy-turvy.
I must note that, in our imperfect world, there are malfunctions of every kind. Babies are sometimes born with "ambiguous genitalia" - not clearly one or the other. Such cases require wisdom and careful thought by parents, doctors, and others involved in deciding how the little person should meet life. Not being qualified to speak on this subject, I will say only that I believe God can give the discernment needed to face this challenge as He does for any other difficulty faced by the human family. And certainly, it is a subject that brings another angle to this discussion.
The issue of gender distinction is one of greatest importance and it will become even more so in our lifetime. The news stories will become more unbelievable; the mores of culture will become even more outlandish. But the principles our Creator planted in our world will not change, no matter how they are scoffed and trampled.
And as for me, I am glad to have the security that God made me, that I am what I am by His design, and His plan for me is wrapped up in how I bear His image. It sure beats going barefoot.
If you have a jaundiced view of journalism, you may think most news stories contain lies. But this one was not a lie of the political or interpretive kind. It was a lie from Satan.
The article told the story of a woman in Australia who was granted identification papers saying her gender was not specified. In other words, she is legally not male or female. Those papers have since been revoked, but she is fighting to get them certified again. The story explains that "she" was born a normal boy, but didn't "feel" male so, as a young adult, he had surgery to make him female. Then one day, realizing that many of her feminine traits were coming from the hormone pills she was taking, she felt that was fake too. So, now "she-he" has embraced this new nothing kind of gender. She wonders why she has to be male or female: why can't she just be human? She even goes barefoot now because she feels shoes are too gender indicating. She says she is both male and female.
The article also quotes a gender specialist who says many ancient cultures had a third gender, and it was only in the 20th century that male and female norms were set. That may be true, but former cultures also practiced human sacrifice and other horrors. Precedence doesn't justify repeating all behaviors. He further states that it is common for a person who has had a sex change to begin questioning their gender again after the surgery. He gets close to the truth when he says that gender is not merely wrapped up in the physical apparatus; it is now believed to be rooted in the brain.
But the whole truth is that gender is God-given and is inprinted on the soul. God created humans in His own image - male and female. He chose two complimentary sexes to represent Him; each images Him in different ways. To ignore either denies His design. To swap one for another insults His plan for each life.
But having a "one is the same as the other" approach is becoming fashionable in our culture. Take Lady Gaga, a young woman whose music and video "art" is openly and proudly lewd. She says she loves "androgyny" and admits to encounters with both men and women. It has become the new rage - experimenting with one's gender as though it were a dessert one can have as either chocolate or vanilla or swirled.
Our Creator lovingly portayed Himself in the genders - each is valuable and significant. The gifts of each are necessary for the appropriate function of the earth and the family. Who one is really will not change, no matter what is done to the outside. In my opinion, it is the direct work of the Enemy to cause men and women to question their gender. It is an attack he has used with great success and it strikes at the very heart of God's creative work.
Once a person questions who he or she "is," everything else is also suspect. If I cannot believe something about myself as basic as my sexuality, what else might be subject to question? In the 20th century, contrary to the specialist's belief, gender was not solidified as much as it was questioned. Beginning with the Roaring Twenties, assaults against traditional feminine and masculine roles saturated the culture. So it is not surprising that the current issue is whether gender really matters at all. It is the natural result of the gender debate.
Elisabeth Elliot, one of my favorite authors, writes about the "mystery" of God-given gender and their relation to each other. In her book, The Mark of a Man, (written for her nephew, Peter) she says about gender difference:
The distinction was God's. We wouldn't have thought of it. Imagine a sexless world. If you're looking for Dullsville, that would be it, wouldn't it? We've had enough hints of what it would be like in the unisex world of blue jeans. When men and women accept the sexual difference and enjoy it, they put color and design and variety into life. When they begin to deny it or to feel that it should somehow be blurred, they take all the color out (except for denim blue - and they are careful to take even some of that out, with Clorox, before the color is acceptable!)
It's hard to tell the men from the women at a college weekend retreat: the down-filled vests, the turtlenecks, the jeans, the waffle-stompers, the hair hanging in the eyes, the backpacks.
"Oh, wow!" some of them would say, "She doesn't like us!"
Alas. Another distinction gone by the board. You are smart enough to see, Pete, that I'm not condemning. I'm describing. And if the description fits, kids squirm. I'm only holding up a mirror, saying, "Look at yourselves! What do you see?" If it's monchromatic, it illustrates my point: To equalize is to deprive of glory. (Fleming H. Revell, 1981, pg. 32)
While I'm not condemning denim or turtlenecks or backpacks, etc.(and I don't think she is either), I believe Mrs. Elliot is onto something here. The genders bring color and glory to the world. Making them the same or erasing their importance will plunge any society into a grey world where even the basic things of life are topsy-turvy.
I must note that, in our imperfect world, there are malfunctions of every kind. Babies are sometimes born with "ambiguous genitalia" - not clearly one or the other. Such cases require wisdom and careful thought by parents, doctors, and others involved in deciding how the little person should meet life. Not being qualified to speak on this subject, I will say only that I believe God can give the discernment needed to face this challenge as He does for any other difficulty faced by the human family. And certainly, it is a subject that brings another angle to this discussion.
The issue of gender distinction is one of greatest importance and it will become even more so in our lifetime. The news stories will become more unbelievable; the mores of culture will become even more outlandish. But the principles our Creator planted in our world will not change, no matter how they are scoffed and trampled.
And as for me, I am glad to have the security that God made me, that I am what I am by His design, and His plan for me is wrapped up in how I bear His image. It sure beats going barefoot.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Appalachian Midnight
Pale moon on a mountain road,
Spectral trees with branches bare,
Aging homes in whitened sleep,
Winter's chill on silvered hills,
Frozen land and people proud.
- VQ (Dec. 24, 2010)
Monday, December 13, 2010
the value of being
In the shuffle of life, I cycle around to this thought: Is there value in simply "being?"
You'll hear busy executives, exhausted sales associates, and harried parents talk about wanting to "enjoy life" or take time to "enjoy the moment" or "smell the roses." It's all the same. Deep inside, each of us wants to absorb the simple bliss of nature and relationship.
Being a firstborn and driven to achieve and please, this is a difficult concept for me to embrace. Maybe it is for you too. I find significance in accomplishing something; that is where affirmation resides. It stretches me to imagine that there is actual value in simply being part of the kaleidoscope of the life God has given me. Is it possible that sitting in the woods or by the seashore can more enirch the spirit than reading the newest self-help book? Is it reasonable that sipping a cup of coffee by the twinkle of the Christmas tree has more benefit than checking off that last deadline?
Well, the responsible part of me says absolutely not. And granted, there are some duties that must be attended to on-time and with faithfulness. But, I think its entirely possible that the "doing" will be less fruitful if there is no "being." I suppose the soul needs nourishment in ways the body cannot supply through action. And yes, there are some who carry this to extreme - I'm not advocating weird stuff. But God's amazing world (that includes the beautiful things He's allowed man to create as well as nature) cannot be enjoyed on the run, so to speak.
But, I've seen abuses of the system. There are those who simply "be" forever and never "do." Their houses deteriorate, their vehicles rust through, their relationships stagnate, and their legacy disintegrates. Sloth is a voracious foe. And the consequences are really not palatable. Even those with great gifts are at risk here; art often requires much "being." Hence, the eccentricies of the great masters. Still, their contributions redeem them, at least in the perspective of our day.
So, what about the value of "being?"
As a homeschool mom, I am challenged with helping my children to understand this concept and assimilate it into their own world. It seems we are always pushed for time, always hurrying to the next educational activity, at home or elsewhere. Dilemma: this window of childhood is small; there is so much for them to learn. I have only 18 years to equip them for life (for my older ones, the sand in the hourglass is dwindling quickly). Lack of ambition or vision will cripple them for life; stress and extreme schedules will smother them.
Yet, when all is done, their ability to connect with others and to relish the incredible joy of simply being alive and being loved is huge. While I want my children to be refined, educated, cultured and gracious, I do not wish them to be arrogant or lofty or impractical. I certainly don't want them too overwhelmed doing and learning to be normal. While I know I'll remember the things they accomplished while they were growing up, probably the things I'll mentally unwrap again and again will be the ordinary things of life we shared and the simple extravagant beauty of hugs and night-time rituals and unexpected smiles.
So, the question remains "What about being?" And the answer will define both work and leisure. "All work and no play . ." as they say. Then again, whose workshop are those "idle hands?"
The writer of Proverbs offers superb perspective. "He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end. I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives, and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor-it is the gift of God. (Proverbs 3:11-13, NKJV)
That sounds like a good life.
You'll hear busy executives, exhausted sales associates, and harried parents talk about wanting to "enjoy life" or take time to "enjoy the moment" or "smell the roses." It's all the same. Deep inside, each of us wants to absorb the simple bliss of nature and relationship.
Being a firstborn and driven to achieve and please, this is a difficult concept for me to embrace. Maybe it is for you too. I find significance in accomplishing something; that is where affirmation resides. It stretches me to imagine that there is actual value in simply being part of the kaleidoscope of the life God has given me. Is it possible that sitting in the woods or by the seashore can more enirch the spirit than reading the newest self-help book? Is it reasonable that sipping a cup of coffee by the twinkle of the Christmas tree has more benefit than checking off that last deadline?
Well, the responsible part of me says absolutely not. And granted, there are some duties that must be attended to on-time and with faithfulness. But, I think its entirely possible that the "doing" will be less fruitful if there is no "being." I suppose the soul needs nourishment in ways the body cannot supply through action. And yes, there are some who carry this to extreme - I'm not advocating weird stuff. But God's amazing world (that includes the beautiful things He's allowed man to create as well as nature) cannot be enjoyed on the run, so to speak.
But, I've seen abuses of the system. There are those who simply "be" forever and never "do." Their houses deteriorate, their vehicles rust through, their relationships stagnate, and their legacy disintegrates. Sloth is a voracious foe. And the consequences are really not palatable. Even those with great gifts are at risk here; art often requires much "being." Hence, the eccentricies of the great masters. Still, their contributions redeem them, at least in the perspective of our day.
So, what about the value of "being?"
As a homeschool mom, I am challenged with helping my children to understand this concept and assimilate it into their own world. It seems we are always pushed for time, always hurrying to the next educational activity, at home or elsewhere. Dilemma: this window of childhood is small; there is so much for them to learn. I have only 18 years to equip them for life (for my older ones, the sand in the hourglass is dwindling quickly). Lack of ambition or vision will cripple them for life; stress and extreme schedules will smother them.
Yet, when all is done, their ability to connect with others and to relish the incredible joy of simply being alive and being loved is huge. While I want my children to be refined, educated, cultured and gracious, I do not wish them to be arrogant or lofty or impractical. I certainly don't want them too overwhelmed doing and learning to be normal. While I know I'll remember the things they accomplished while they were growing up, probably the things I'll mentally unwrap again and again will be the ordinary things of life we shared and the simple extravagant beauty of hugs and night-time rituals and unexpected smiles.
So, the question remains "What about being?" And the answer will define both work and leisure. "All work and no play . ." as they say. Then again, whose workshop are those "idle hands?"
The writer of Proverbs offers superb perspective. "He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end. I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives, and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor-it is the gift of God. (Proverbs 3:11-13, NKJV)
That sounds like a good life.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
for Thanksgiving
And the People Were Thankful
by Valorie Quesenberry
On tumbling seas, a humble ship . . .
its destiny -- the New World.
its masters -- a swarthy crew.
its heart -- a band of "pilgrims."
The voyage was long, the storms harsh, the future unsure but the landng was made.
A great rock looming on a craggy shore, the promise of a free land, and a faith in Almighty God.
And the people were thankful.
By planted fields, a stalwart group . . .
of settlers -- survivors, purposeful.
of natives -- quick, resourceful.
of friends -- feasting, playful.
The feast was welcome, the games friendly, the spirit festive,and the hearts were joyful.
Two peoples created by the same God and coming together on this fertile land of blessing.
And the people were thankful.
At revolution's dawn, a tiny republic . . .
the leaders -- strong, visionary.
the minutemen -- determined, ready.
the people -- sacrificing, resolute.
The battles were bloody, the conditions daunting, the soldiers untrained, but independence was won.
The infant that democracy birthed rose up in the strength of Providence and set the course of freedom.
And the people were thankful.
With divided hearts, a torn country . . .
the President -- bold, resolved.
the soldiers -- proud, stubborn.
the families -- brave, grieving.
The fields were graveyards, the destruction tragic, the hatred a curse, but the great wound was closed.
The people battled out their difference, brothers again clasped hands and mended the landscape of a united country. And the people were thankful.
In Liberty's gaze, a solitary immigrant . . .
the past -- squalid, desolate.
the present -- fearful, hopeful.
the future -- bright, promising.
The journey has ended, Ellis Island awaits, a new home to be made, and opportunities abound.
It was worth the cost to stand on the soil of America, the land of refuge, the home of the oppressed.
And the people were thankful.
Under Old Glory, a nation stands . . .
for liberty -- costly, sacred.
for justice -- fair, equal.
for brotherhood -- kind, merciful.
Foes have assailed her, wickness has assaulted her, centuries have tested her, and America squared its shoulders and set its strength to the task. God blessed her and through good and bad she came smiling through. And the people were thankful.
Around laden tables, an American family . . .
the scene -- warm, loving.
the food -- savory, plentiful.
the family -- close, loving.
Harvest has come, the pantry is full, the relatives have gathered and the turkey is golden and tender. No hardship is so difficult that it will not be overcome by the ministry of this Thanksgiving Day. A blessing is breathed, hands are folded, heads are bowed, and hearts have come home. The feast begins. And the people are thankful.
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